This blog is about the curious relationships between the opposite sex.
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It’s the end of the year. Time for a review. 1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? Thai massage lesson. Running 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make resolutions. I just try to make some changes. 3....
It’s the end of the year. Time for a review.
1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?
Thai massage lesson. Running
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t make resolutions. I just try to make some changes.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes. My close friend eventually gave birth to a beautiful girl.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes.
5. What countries did you visit?
The Philippines, France, England, Ireland
6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
7. What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 4: The day I became an landlord
June 16: The start of my relationship with the one I didn’t expect.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
9. What was your biggest failure?
Losing my radio voice
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Yes.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
An apartment. At last.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Kindness, everywhere
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? extremists of all kinds.
14. Where did most of your money go? The apartment
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What song will always remind you of 2019?
Invincible – Tool
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
Happier. Neither thinner nor fatter. Richer.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
A certain part of my work I didn’t ask for.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2019?
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No
Le meutre du commandeur – Murakami
26. What did you want and get? an apartment
27. What did you want and not get? inspiration
Once upon a time in Hollywood
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I celebrated my birthday with the one I love
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I was very satisfied
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?
An addiction to a certain brand
32. What kept you sane? My friends and family.
34. What political issue stirred you the most? Intolerance
35. Who did you miss? My uncle
36. Who was the best new person you met? My heart
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019. Learn to love
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Take all your chances while you can
Never know when they’ll pass you by
Like a sum a mathematician cannot solve
Happy New Year!
Esther Perel, a relationship therapist, says Tinder won’t last. ‘I’ve yet to find anyone who tells me that dating on any app is fun. Nobody tells me that it’s playful or mischievous – it is utterly uninspired, devoid of imagination, seduction, charge or excitement. It’s just romantic consumerism. And when people do go on a...
Esther Perel, a relationship therapist, says Tinder won’t last.
‘I’ve yet to find anyone who tells me that dating on any app is fun. Nobody tells me that it’s playful or mischievous – it is utterly uninspired, devoid of imagination, seduction, charge or excitement. It’s just romantic consumerism.
And when people do go on a date, it’s like a job interview’
It may be not that fun, but some people do meet their significant other thanks to Tinder and other dating apps.
When we use Tinder and other dating app, we rely on their algorithm to find people who can meet our needs. Some people use dating app to find a turnover of lovers. Some people use dating app to find their partner.
Like Esther Perel says, when people go on a date, it’s like they attend a job interview. The first date is always awkward because of that. But we don’t look for the same thing during a job interview. In a job interview, we often put our skills and experiences forward. Sometimes, we also mention our athletic feat, like our time during a marathon. During a date, we don’t give those details. But it’s true, in both cases, that we want to be liked.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing.
In the end, we always have the choice of taking the chance to pursue a relationship with our date or not.
So, Tinder is just a way to meet people.
In the social media age, it’s difficult to stay away from your recent breakup. Some people are tempted to stalk their ex after the breakup. It’s not wise and it doesn’t help you to move on, but sometimes, the best medicine to your obsession is the obsession itself. But some people choose to unfollow their...
In the social media age, it’s difficult to stay away from your recent breakup. Some people are tempted to stalk their ex after the breakup. It’s not wise and it doesn’t help you to move on, but sometimes, the best medicine to your obsession is the obsession itself.
But some people choose to unfollow their ex on social media, like snapchat, Tik Tok (for the young ones) and of course, the most used social media nowadays: Instagram. That social media is particular, since people only post pictures with sometimes a caption. It’s a little bit different from Facebook, where people can post links to articles, videos, pictures,….
Yet, for some reasons, we can be tempted to follow again our ex on Instagram, as we can be tempted to re-friend our ex on Facebook after a hiatus. Like on Facebook, the person you choose to unfollow doesn’t get any notification. But he/she get a notification when you follow him/her. If the person has chosen to have a private account on Instagram, the social media will ask him/her if he/she wants to be followed by you. In other words, you remind your ex of your presence. It’s a first step to come back into your ex’s life.
If you want to come back into your ex’s life, it’s not going be easy. Your ex can choose to block you from social media. If your ex doesn’t reject you, it doesn’t mean your ex want you to come back in his/her life. But in the digital age of social media, people are not that careful with their profile and account. So a new follower, even from the past, it’s not important for some people.Personally, I don’t really care who follow me on Instagram. I don’t post every day.
If you are still friends with your ex, it may be a good reason to follow your ex again on Instagram.
Birds of a feather often fly together, as it said. But it is guaranteed to last forever if you marry someone who comes from the same professional/social circle than you? Of course not. In the book “Serotonine”, the writer Michel Houellebecq narrates the live of an aristocrat, Aymeric d’Harcourt, who’s an agriculturist, and who lost...
Birds of a feather often fly together, as it said. But it is guaranteed to last forever if you marry someone who comes from the same professional/social circle than you? Of course not. In the book “Serotonine”, the writer Michel Houellebecq narrates the live of an aristocrat, Aymeric d’Harcourt, who’s an agriculturist, and who lost his wife who was blue blood like him. She left him for a pianist who was in tour in their region. Florent-Claude, the principal character in the book, thought d’Harcourt and his wife were a good match because they came from the same social circle.
In my profession, many couples met each other at work. Some are still going strong, while some have ended in sometimes a bad way. So, it’s not guaranteed to last forever. Yet, there are strong stereotypes attached to the ideal couple, who should be in the same professional circle than we. One of my friends, who’s a teacher, told me he was asked many times if his significant other is also a teacher. As if it was obvious he should be with another teacher. His significant other isn’t. And so far, they’ve been together for a long time, and my friend is very happy in his love life. My significant other, who’s a MD, told me he got the same reaction when he told people about our relationship. The first remark he got was: “So, she ‘s a MD too?”.
Another friend of mine asked me why I don’t look for a journalist as partner. As it is my profession. But when I was on dating apps, I saw several male journalists (sometimes, I even know them in real life) but I swiped left every time. Maybe it’s because I know how a journalist can be in private life. One of my potential matches is a deputy chief editor who also teach in university and is often solicited to talk during multiple seminars. So he’s barely available. The other ones I know spend long hours at work too. I don’t know why, but it screamed “no” when I saw their profiles on dating apps.
Besides, I also have plenty of negative examples of homogeneous couples, where Mr. and Mrs do the same job. In my newsroom, there were two official couples. When one of them started to be official, their career suffered because they were hindered by something related to their relationship. Eventually, Mr. left our newsroom and the world of journalism to be a PR. He’s never returned. But they are still together. The other couple also end up with one of the members leaving the world of journalism, this time to pursue time writing a book.
There’s also the risk to be jealous of your significant other’s success.
Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Brad Falchuk, don’t live together all of the time. She said they live apart three days per week, and together four days per week. Kaley Cuoco and her husband, Karl Cook, don’ t live together every single day. But they plan to move together once their house is built. I...
Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Brad Falchuk, don’t live together all of the time. She said they live apart three days per week, and together four days per week. Kaley Cuoco and her husband, Karl Cook, don’ t live together every single day. But they plan to move together once their house is built. I also read Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband plan to move together.
One of my friends, who’s single, says he doesn’t want to live with his significant other all of the time. Because he needs some space. His cousin doesn’t live with her husband every single day, because he has an apartment in a town where he’s a professor during the week. He only lives with her during the weekends and during his holidays. So far, their marriage is strong. They’ve been married for 20 years now. They are living apart together.
There are many reasons why we don’t live all of the time with our spouse/significant other. In my country, the law forbids married people to live apart, but in real life, there are married people who don’t live together all of the time. One of my acquaintances works in another country, not very far from our country. But his wife works in our country. So during four days of the week, he lives alone in a little apartment they bought together, while she lives in their house with their three children. One of my coworkers is married to a man who often travels around the world. He’s not always home because of that. Sometimes, he’s away for three weeks.
It takes a lot of trust to live apart from our significant other. Yet, some people find some agreements especially when we fall in love late in our life. Recently, one of my coworkers told me he interviewed one of our former ministers. He was surprised she told him her significant other just lives in the apartment next to hers, on the same floor. “Every one of us needs our space” she said. So, they agree not to live with each other. But they live very near to each other. When my coworker ended his interview, her significant other entered the room and went to the kitchen to have a coffee. “He’s always welcome here, of course” she told him. My coworker, who’s married, admits he doesn’t understand this.
Does distance (some of it) keep the flame of love alive? There’s always the risk to grow apart from our significant other.
In the scandal around Jeffrey Epstein, there are suspicions around the role of his ex-lover, Ghislaine Maxwell. Some people accuse her of being his Madam, recruiting young women to perform massage etc to Jeffrey Epstein and his male friends. It reminds me of another case, the Edouard Stern’s case. He was a banker who was murdered...
In the scandal around Jeffrey Epstein, there are suspicions around the role of his ex-lover, Ghislaine Maxwell. Some people accuse her of being his Madam, recruiting young women to perform massage etc to Jeffrey Epstein and his male friends. It reminds me of another case, the Edouard Stern’s case. He was a banker who was murdered by his ex-lover. He was found with four bullets in his body, two in the heads, while he was wearing a latex suit. His ex-lover and him used to play sexual games where she was often asked to recruit extra people.
I had an ex who asked me to bring men I meet in my gym class to him.I refused. Because on one hand, I didn’t want to disrupt my peace when I’m going to the gym. I feel carefree when I going there. I don’t want it to change because of some guys, who live nearby the gym and in my neighborhood. A bad reputation is easy to learn and difficult to get rid of. In another hand, I don’t feel very seducing. Even if I was single, I couldn’t go and flirt with random strangers in the street or at a party,…. In another word, it screamed “no” in my head. And the relationship ended it there.
Why some people, often women, end up being recruiting people to please their partner’s sexual needs/phantasms? In the case of Maxmell, she seemed to accommodate this for the fabulous life she lived with Jeffrey Epstein, who was rich. Until she had enough. In the case of Brossard, Edouard Stein’s ex-lover, she was also attached to him in a toxic way. It didn’t end well.
I don’t know if these agreements in relationship are sustainable on the long run. I just know I could never do this.
Beside, as the Maxmell/Esptein scandal showed, the people recruited for their sexual games didn’t disappear in nature afterwards. Some of them sued them.
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