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Blog Description:

Virtual Pulp Press began as an online store catering to men who like to read. The Two-Fisted Blog was a review site for men's fiction and “movies for guys who like movies.” The two combined forces at Virtual Pulp and do all that they did before, plus comment on culture, sports, music, news...and an occasional game.
Blog Added: February 01, 2015 09:52:45 PM
Audience Rating: General Audience
Blog Platform: WordPress
Blog Country: United-States   United-States
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Total Visits: 720
Blog Rating: 2.91
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Alt★Hero Hits the Virtual Stands

Arkhaven Comics’ Alt★Hero #1: Crackdown is out. Being a backer, I received an electronic copy before it went live on Amazon. The haters have generated a few different narratives about Arkhaven. One narrative was intended to convince us that the (record-breaking) crowdfunding revenue to launch Arkhaven had been imbezzled by Vox Day, because it’s all a big...

Arkhaven Comics’ Alt★Hero #1: Crackdown is out. Being a backer, I received an electronic copy before it went live on Amazon.

The haters have generated a few different narratives about Arkhaven. One narrative was intended to convince us that the (record-breaking) crowdfunding revenue to launch Arkhaven had been imbezzled by Vox Day, because it’s all a big scam, and no comic would ever be produced. A more popular knee-jerk proclamation is that the comic is garbage (as judged by people who haven’t read or even seen it.)

As somebody who is disgusted by what’s happened to DC and Marvel, and what they’ve done to the characters they inherited, I’ve been enthusiastic about Alt★Hero since first hearing of it. I make a point to support any artistic endeavor which defies the Thought Police sent from the Leftist Hive Mind. Sometimes I’m burned, as I was with Amerigeddon. Sometimes I’m rewarded, as with Alt Hero.

Arkhaven has some tightening up to do–particularly with the artwork and composition/layout. And I believe it will be tightened up. But even as-is, this series looks like a lot of fun.

In this first story a European supergroup (sponsored by the EU) recruits a new member (given the name Dynamique) to help them purge thought criminals from around the continent. This is basically what Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook have been doing to people…but with progressive extrapolation: enemies of the state aren’t just censored; they’re arrested and imprisoned. And it’s super-powered international thought cops in tights who round them up.

It’s actually a lot like Hank’s story The Greater Good, but without the over-the-top humor. And it’s illustrated.

Alt Hero is a comic I wouldn’t mind letting my son read. Also, Chuck Dixon is writing a series for Arkhaven called Avalon, which I am probably also going to check out. Dixon’s portfolio speaks for itself. I’m pleased he was able to find paying work outside the SJW insanity that is status quo in the comics industry. Based on everything I know so far, I believe any investment in Arkhaven titles will be money well-spent.



Oceana Has Always Been At War With East Asia…

Back when President Trump accused Obama of spying on his campaign, Democrats and the mainstream media (please forgive the redundancy) dismissed the claim as lunacy. “Respectable” rags like The New York Slimes, Washington Compost, and The Los Angeles Slimes made sure to report (in their headlines, no less) that Trump cited no evidence of the...

Back when President Trump accused Obama of spying on his campaign, Democrats and the mainstream media (please forgive the redundancy) dismissed the claim as lunacy. “Respectable” rags like The New York Slimes, Washington Compost, and The Los Angeles Slimes made sure to report (in their headlines, no less) that Trump cited no evidence of the spying. Here’s the credible Jake Tapper (citing Paul Ryan and James Comey as sources):

Interesting that there is no equivalent  concern about lack of evidence in the “Russian collusion” witch hunt now in its second year. More on that in another post, maybe.

But for now, here’s that paragon of integrity, Barack Hussein Obama, assuring you that the DOJ and FBI were not politically motivated whatsoever:

Horowitz’ IG report is supposed to be coming out soon. Perhaps that’s why the Media/Democrat Machine is now scrambling to move the goalposts. “Well, alright, Obama did have spies in the Trump Campaign…but it was to protect him!”

That’s pretty much the headline in The Washington Compost’s desperate attempt to get out in front of these revelations. But they added this: “What the president doesn’t get about counterintelligence.

So you see, spying on Trump and planting those collusion stories was all for his own good–he’s just too ignorant to understand Obama’s benevolent actions.

Following this same logic, Nixon was only trying to protect McGovern, but Woodward and Bernstein were just too ignorant to “get it.”

It seems to be obligatory these days in any political discussion to reference Hitler and/or the Holocaust…so:

Hitler was only trying to protect the Jews by relocating them into secure facilities, but Otto Frank and others like him were just too ignorant about public safety to “get it.”



Revised History: Hitler and Fascists

Since before Donald Trump took office, we’ve been repeatedly informed that he is “literally Hitler” and that his supporters are fascists at best, Nazis at worst. This is a little confusing, because I’d been previously informed by a high school biology teacher that Ronald Reagan was literally Hitler. That’s three separate individuals who are all...

Since before Donald Trump took office, we’ve been repeatedly informed that he is “literally Hitler” and that his supporters are fascists at best, Nazis at worst.

This is a little confusing, because I’d been previously informed by a high school biology teacher that Ronald Reagan was literally Hitler. That’s three separate individuals who are all the same person: Trump, Reagan, and presumably Hitler himself.

Of course it all makes sense if you watch enough Star Trek. Obviously some malevolent entity that first possessed Jack the Ripper later possessed these three evil historic villains.

“And anybody who disagrees with us is a fascist!”

Um, did I say “evil”? Of course all woke people know there’s actually no such thing as good or evil. The only people who believe in such outdated, puritan concepts as evil are evil religious-right demagogues. So Hitler wasn’t truly eeee-veel, he was just insane. If only his school teachers had identified his mental illness and pumped him full of psychotropic drugs, that would have fixed everything.

“But wait,” say the millennials and Generation Z, “who is Hitler? Wasn’t he supposed to be this, like, really mean guy or something?”

Well, even though it’s like, totally lame to think, talk, or read about anything that happened more than six months ago, we maybe should randomly empower you with some woke info on this paranormal force of evil meanness that just so happened to control some ancient, like, European dude with a funny mustache.

We should start with Socialism…this totally amazing system where:

  1. Everybody is disarmed except the police and armed forces.
  2. Genocide can be efficiently implemented when necessary.
  3. Children must attend state-controlled schools and be programmed to believe The Narrative without question.
  4. A progressive, graduated income tax keeps the non-ruling class equally miserable.
  5.  Careless speech (or even suspected thoughts) will result in dissenters vanishing, never to be seen again.
  6.  The state owns and controls all business and industry.

But along came this dude named Mussolini who instituted a system that was TOTALLY, 100% OPPOSITE!!!!!!!!! (And therefore wrong.) Just look at how utterly distinct Fascism is from Socialism in every way:

  1. Everybody is disarmed except the police and armed forces.
  2. Genocide can be efficiently implemented when necessary.
  3. Children must attend state-controlled schools and be programmed to believe The Narrative without question.
  4. A progressive, graduated income tax keeps the non-ruling class equally miserable.
  5.  Careless speech (or even suspected thoughts) will result in dissenters vanishing, never to be seen again.
  6.  The state controls all business and industry, although symbolic private ownership is still tolerated.

Now, can you see how socialism is a moral, Utopian ideal which leads to paradise, while fascism is just so…um…like, unwoke?

And now you can see how “Antifa” is legit and TOTALLY UNLIKE the blackshirted mobs in 1920s Italy that threatened and attacked anyone who disagreed with their politics.

Alright, so let’s talk about this Hitler guy.

He was like a deplorable combination of Ron Paul and Ted Cruz. If he was here, he’d so be a member of the NRA, the Tea Party and Gamergate. He would do really mean, backwards things like broker peace between North and South Korea, recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel (and move his country’s embassy there), and deregulate industry (because, y’know, he just hated micromanaging and being in control).

Oh yeah–he would do undignified, unpresidential things like tweet on Twitter, too. (FDR on the other hand, being dignified and presidential, would continue to hold his Fireside Chats on the radio in 2018.)

And that’s the approved, official, credible, trustworthy, fact-checked history. Anything else is fake history according to Facebook, Google, and the Southern Poverty Law Center.

(Until further notice.)



More on the Obligatory “Strong Female Character”

This clip is from a female Youtuber who evidently didn’t get the Grrrrl Power Memo. While her opinions and tastes in entertainment don’t exactly line up with ours (ahem), she does make some valid points, articulated well. Why does the Kick-Butt Womyn Warrior Narrative always have to involve making men look weak, cowardly, corrupt, etc....

This clip is from a female Youtuber who evidently didn’t get the Grrrrl Power Memo.

While her opinions and tastes in entertainment don’t exactly line up with ours (ahem), she does make some valid points, articulated well.

Why does the Kick-Butt Womyn Warrior Narrative always have to involve making men look weak, cowardly, corrupt, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum? For a reason similar to why Marxist faggots have used “critical theory” over the generations to poison minds against America.

Marxists can’t point to any credible success stories of nations that prospered by adhering to their economic doctrines, so they instead have to ceaselessly badmouth the system that made America the most free and prosperous country in history–steering societal lemmings away from ever asking the questions that would make their entire Narrative collapse.

White knights can’t sell their Amazon Superninja Fetish Narrative without comparing their cookie-cutter RWT (Rambo With Tits) character to a man. That comparison always entails making the male character look pathetic.

Life does imitate art in some ways. People indoctrinated by the Fetish Narrative over the decades think it’s a dandy idea to put women in the combat arms, and in elite units. But they suddenly balk at The Narrative when you suggest that women be held to the same standards as men in the military. Just as they would balk if somebody seriously considered matching women against men in full-contact sports (where the predictable and embarrassing results couldn’t be covered up by legions of white knight bureaucrats in uniform).



A Letter From the G.O.P.

…Or rather, based on how the letter addresses me as a “conservative” (whatever that means), the email was probably generated by a bot calling itself “Rob, NRCC CFO.” Here’s what he or it wrote in his/its email to me: “Fellow Conservative, Without your continued support, our conservative elected officials might not be in the majority...

…Or rather, based on how the letter addresses me as a “conservative” (whatever that means), the email was probably generated by a bot calling itself “Rob, NRCC CFO.”

Here’s what he or it wrote in his/its email to me:

“Fellow Conservative,

Without your continued support, our conservative elected officials might not be in the majority in Washington. That’s why, out of our appreciation for your support, we want to offer an upgrade to your membership to the Elite Level.

Just take a stand for our president’s conservative majority, and we’ll upgrade your membership…

We couldn’t have achieved the same level of success in 2016 without you: the House, Senate, and the White House are all Republican thanks to you.

Now we must protect our majority from Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats during the 2018 midterm elections.

Our president is counting on you to help us keep the House during his presidency, and you can start right now by pitching in $10 or more to upgrade your NRCC Sustaining Membership to the Elite Level.”

Not that anybody will likely read it (even if there’s a hefty donation attached), but I replied to the email thusly:

Pray tell:
If you’re going to screw us just like the Democrats, what does it matter who has the majority?



The All-New Revised History Series

Along with Barack Hussein Obama, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton and innumerable other altruists, Virtual Pulp has been deeply inspired by the blatantly orchestrated sincere, heartfelt speeches given by David Hogg and other tools wise, experienced and courageous youth insisting our rights be stripped from us. One has to marvel at the caliber of education that has led...

Along with Barack Hussein Obama, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton and innumerable other altruists, Virtual Pulp has been deeply inspired by the blatantly orchestrated sincere, heartfelt speeches given by David Hogg and other tools wise, experienced and courageous youth insisting our rights be stripped from us. One has to marvel at the caliber of education that has led them to such a level of understanding.

Wouldn’t it be, like, really dope if everyone, y’know, was able to learn the real important stuff, like they have, so we could all, like, make such an impact? So starting with this post, Virtual Pulp will be publishing the fake history woke history that has made Camera Hogg & Company such model spokespeople for their generation.

9/11 and the War on Terror

Once upon a time, there was an area called the Middle East. Diverse peoples in the Middle East followed a Religion of Peace, which is no different from Christianity (except that Christianity is silly, racist, sexist and oppressive, whereas Islam is merely misunderstood). There were no problems whatsoever in that region before Israelis and Americans came on the scene. Republican administrations from the US made these peace-loving, tolerant people defensive and suspicious of infidels ruthless, exploitative colonialists.

Meanwhile, in that oppressive despotic dystopia of the USA, a secret team of Bible-thumping home-schooled NRA members hijacked several passenger jets and crashed them into buildings in New York City because…um, they hate women…or black people…or something.

The buildings collapsed perfectly into their own footprints just like a controlled demolition, because that’s what tall buildings always do, with absolutely no planning or preparation. These right-wingers hated with such a hot heat that World Trade Center #7 (which was never touched by an airplane or had its superstructure exposed to burning jet fuel) also collapsed perfectly into its own footprint.

Or maybe it was global warming that caused the steel girders to melt. Anyway: home-grown right-wing terrorists are a far worse threat than Islamic workplace-violence-committers. So there! That’s why we need millions more Muslim immigrants inside the country (taxpayer-funded, of course), but need to abolish the Bill of Rights for law-abiding American citizens.

The coward George Dubya Bush hid in an elementary school, using the bodies of school children to protect him from the blast of the jet crashes. Then he returned to the White House and signed The Patriot Act, which was an immoral, tyrranical act of oppression right up until Barack Hussein Obama bullied persuaded Congress to renew it. As soon as Saint Hussein vouched for it, of course, the Patriot Act was instantly transformed into a reasonable, common-sense protection that is totally not a despotic police state measure to further strangle the Bill of Rights. Saint Hussein further advanced the cause of liberty by giving us Indefinite Detention–so that Americans can be imprisoned for life without a trial or even charges.

It goes without saying that President Trump would be LITERALLY HITLER if he was to use any of these usurpations laws signed by Democrats. (Well, he’s already literally Hitler, of course. But he’d be, y’know, even worse than Hitler if he was to do what his predecessors  did.) Worse than literally Hitler, like…Joe McCarthy…or somebody. (More about that deplorable monster in a future installment.)

Since 9/11, there have been multiple incidents when some distraught motorists, disgruntled nightclub patrons and other oppressed victims have accidently engaged in behavior that inadvertently caused harm to others, while shouting, “Allah akbar!” Deplorable racist xenophobes have alleged that this phrase somehow indicates Islamic ideology. But our experts have discovered that this assumption is just redneck ignorance at work.

It turns out that “Allah akbar” is really from a secret code language spoken by Bible-thumping home-schooled NRA members, and, literally translated, means: “MAGA!” (Make America Great Again.) These home-grown domestic terrorists love to speak in code, as you well know. Our experts have decoded phrases like “American citizen” to actually mean, “Aryan ubermensch.” Similarly, “Second Amendment” actually means “Death to school children!” And “voter ID laws” means “We hate minorities!”

So those incidents were really carried out by Tea Party operatives–the most dangerous terror threat in the universe! Therefore any such atrocity should be classified as terrorism and be followed immediately by crackdowns on individual rights insensitive civic behavior.

The end.



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