I decided to start this blog (and YouTube Vlog) not to be theatrical and complain about living with a sex offense. Instead, I prefer to tell stories and help others that may be in the same situation. Stories have the power to educate, build compassion, and deepen empathy for others.
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Dating Apps and the Sex Offender Registry The Match Group which owns 45 dating apps is cracking down on registered sex offenders from using their services. In fact, a House subcommittee is investigating popular dating services such as Tinder and Bumble for allegedly allowing minors and sex offenders to use their services. As Valentine’s Day […] The post Podcast: Dating Apps and the Sex Offender Registry appeared first on The Outspoken Offender - Sex Offender Registry...
The Match Group which owns 45 dating apps is cracking down on registered sex offenders from using their services. In fact, a House subcommittee is investigating popular dating services such as Tinder and Bumble for allegedly allowing minors and sex offenders to use their services.
As Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, does this mean that registered sex offenders are banned from finding love? No, of course not. Going on a date, or even marriage is still possible while on the “list”, but you’ll need to do it the old-fashioned way.
Welcome to the podcast. I hope your day is going well for you.
Something that has been bothering me personally, lately for the last several years actually is the lack of dating prospects. Why you’re on the registry or even after the registry or, you have a felony.
You know, I was married without getting into all the details. I was married for a few years and I was divorced in 2017 to somebody that I knew before my conviction. So that made a big difference. I knew this woman, she knew who I was. She knew the true me and she understood, I made a bad, bad mistake. And I went to prison for it. But afterwards we reconnected but unfortunately it didn’t work out.
So, something that’s been bothering me is how does someone on the registry date? I mean, I don’t know about you, but I can’t seem to meet anybody… female or male. Now I date women. So how is that possible? And I hope you are listening tonight and you do have a significant other because it is important when you’re on the registry to have support and and just company and to share your life with someone. That goes for anybody on this planet, sex offense or not.
It’s an important thing. If that’s what you want in your life to be married or have a significant other, or to live with someone or just have a good friend. So yeah, this has been bothering me because I had been reading some articles about these dating apps. They’re saying, no, you are on the registry. You’re not going to be on our app. You’re not going to be on our dating app.
An article that I was reading… now it’s a little bit old. It’s about a year old, but for the last year, dating apps are really cracking down on sex offenders being on their dating apps. Okay. So one of the biggest dating app companies is called the Match Group and they own Bumble, Grindr, Tinder, match.com, OkCupid, and some other ones. They’re really targeting people on the registry. So I’m reading this article and there’s a representative from Illinois who says this:
“Our concern about the underage use of dating apps is heightened by reports that many popular free dating apps permit, registered sex offenders to use them while the paid versions of these same apps screen out registered sex offenders.”, And then the representative continues to say, “Protection from sexual predators.”
Wait a minute! Protection from a sexual predator? Who ever said anything about a predator? There’s a difference between a registered sex offender and a registered sexual predator. But anyway, the second portion of the quote says “Protection from sexual predators should not be a luxury confined to paying customers.”
Now I can just rant and rave about how I disagree with this, but it’s not going to help because they’re continuing with their restrictions. Now, this is a hard topic to talk about. There are, yes, there have been reports, not a lot, but there has been reports of women being raped and that is horrible.
That is, that is just horrible. And I can’t imagine going through such a trauma like that. What I’m upset about is I’m seeing a very big trend going on. This isn’t going to end with dating apps. It’s going to continue.
The Supreme Court has already stated that the use of social media for registered sex offenders is permitted. Meaning if they were to ban sex offenders from social media, it would be unconstitutional. So people on the registry like myself, maybe you, maybe your loved one, can legally use social media. But then you have to deal with things like the Facebook policies and things like that. And now we’re dealing with the dating app policies.
What is going to be next? These companies are going to start putting restrictions in place. To remove everyone from the registry. That’s almost 1 million people in the United States. People on the registry are on for such a wide variety of crimes, some serious, some not serious at all.
So we’re putting everybody together and saying, Hey, you can’t go on my dating app because we think you might be dangerous. Or, you might rape somebody. It’s that notion where, you know, one person does a real bad thing and then everybody else suffers.
When I explain these things and talk about these things and do videos on these topics, it’s hard because I am someone that of course doesn’t want anything to happen to anybody else. But at the same time, it upsets me when companies and apartment complexes and social media companies, and now dating apps are excluding a large group of people because of a past crime. It’s upsetting for me because nowadays dating apps are seen as something that’s like, “Hey, I use it it’s okay.” Years ago it used to be like, “Oh, I use a dating app…oh know.” And it was kind of embarrassing, but nowadays it’s accepted. So people that are on the registry and looking for a normal date, just to meet somebody, I guess they’re going to be excluded.
Okay. So now that I’ve talked about these dating apps how, how does someone on the registry meet somebody? If your hands are tied and you can’t get on Bumble or match or OkCupid, my advice is to do it the old fashioned way.
I get a lot of emails from time to time asking me, when should I talk to the person that I’m dating? When should I tell them that I’m on the registry? Well, I would have to say it really is going to depend on your situation, but I don’t immediately say it. Actually, I don’t go on dates because I can’t meet anybody. But in the past, if I have met somebody, I don’t say, “Hey, Hey, Samantha, my name’s The Outspoken Offender and I was, you know, arrested you know, seven years ago. And I’m a sex offender.”
No, I don’t do that. I let the person at least get to know my personality a little bit, but I don’t wait too long. I don’t wait months and months. I might wait after, you know, the second or third date. You might have a different opinion and that’s okay. It’s all gonna depend on what you’re comfortable with.
Now on the reverse side. I’m just going to take male and female here. So let’s say you’re the female and you are starting to date, or you found out that your date or your boyfriend is a registered sex offender. What I would say is find out the truth before you run for the hills. Let that, that guy explain the situation and if you’re not comfortable with it, well, then you don’t have to date that person, of course, but find out the truth. A lot of times when you research people on the registry, it’s very misleading. It’ll say the crime and it will sound probably a lot worse than what it was. At least give them a chance to explain and then go from there. Okay.
So I hope you enjoyed this podcast. It’s upsetting that you know, it’s hard to find love in the first place and now if you’re on the registry, it’s even more difficult. But you can still live a semi-normal life and do it the old fashioned way. Get outside, talk to people, and try to stay confident. And I think that will help and improve your chances of meeting someone and just skip the dating apps. First of all, they suck. Anyway, no one really wants to really meet up or anything. At least that’s been my experience. And I have sent…before I quit doing the social or the dating apps, I sent hundreds and hundreds of messages to a variety of women, and I heard nothing back and that didn’t have anything to do with the sex offender registry because they didn’t know it yet. They didn’t have my full name. It’s just that they suck. The apps suck. So try something new.
All right. Have a great day. Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of your week or weekend. And I’ll talk to you soon. It’s The Outspoken Offender podcast.
The post Podcast: Dating Apps and the Sex Offender Registry appeared first on The Outspoken Offender - Sex Offender Registry Support.
Is Your Neighborhood Safe From Child Predators? Is Your Neighborhood Safe From Child Predators? With the sex offender registry in full force in the United States, communities should be safer nowadays. But as I show in this video, that may not be the case. With statistics and a “silly” Photoshop illustration, I’ll show that the […] The post Is Your Neighborhood Safe From Child Predators? appeared first on The Outspoken Offender - Sex Offender Registry...
Is Your Neighborhood Safe From Child Predators? With the sex offender registry in full force in the United States, communities should be safer nowadays. But as I show in this video, that may not be the case. With statistics and a “silly” Photoshop illustration, I’ll show that the registry may be making things worse for children and families.
Is your child safe in your neighborhood? Let’s talk about the sex offender registry here and the effectiveness of it when it comes to children’s safety. I’m going to do a little bit of a kind of an illustration here and I chose a city, a neighborhood actually. I lived in this city years ago. It’s a cool little place. It’s nice safe middle to upper-class. Sandy, Utah. I think it’s about 20-30 minutes south of Salt Lake City if I can remember correctly.
Anyway, we’re going to zoom down into this city here. Okay, so let’s go with this random neighborhood in Sandy, Utah. Okay. So now that I’ve chosen this neighborhood. Let’s go to my Photoshop and well, where is it? There’s my Photoshop. Let’s do this illustration. I’m going to just give you this kind of silly example. But we have such a child here. Her name is Sally. Sally’s like 10 years old. Let’s say she lives in this home right here, and she loves this neighborhood. She has you know, friends that she can play with and it’s just a nice place, but maybe not so nice because we have a registrant here. Down there another registrant living right here and Sally has been warned about this person to not go over that direction. Do not go by that house. Okay. Oh, no, we have another registrant.
We have another registrant living just like two homes down from the other registrant, but that’s not all folks. We have another one on the corner here, another registrant! That makes three people on the sex offender registry, but I am not done I feel oh my gosh, this is horrible, right? There’s another registrant on this corner.
So basically what’s happening here is Sally is trapped. Oh my gosh, you can’t get out and play. She definitely can’t go this way. She can’t go that way. She can’t go that way. She can’t go that way. What is Sally gonna do? Well, luckily she has a family that she goes and sees after church. She hangs out with Frank’s kids. Frank has got some younger kids and she goes and plays and hangs out and it’s away from the register.
And so her parents say parents say, “hey, it’s okay go there.” Okay, and then after school sometimes Sally hangs. out with Mary and I don’t know… George’s kids here. Why do they all look the same? Anyway, it’s the graphics. So Sally’s hanging out with this family and they play and she has a lot of fun with the kid; her friends. Then she goes home and then sometimes she’ll actually help babysit. Or you know just hang out with the little one here. We’ve got Jason and I don’t know Jennifer. Okay, so you she hangs out here in this “safe zone” away from the registrants.
What is my point here? What am I trying to get at? Okay, let’s pop this up. What am I talking about? Stranger danger remember? You know, it’s still around that stranger danger campaign. I think it started in the 80s or 90s or something and it’s still around I think that’s why we have the sex offender registry. At least one of the reasons.
93% of sexually driven crimes are committed by a family member of the victim or someone known to the victim. So if we go back to this map, basically my point is is Sally actually might, I stress that point, might. I’m not saying parents are automatically targeted here. Sally might have a better chance of a sex crime occurring when she visits these families or in her own home. Okay, versus the people on the registry. I’m not making these facts up. I’m giving you references here on these statistics.
Another one…let’s go. Let’s go to this one here public registration Sex Offender Registration was found to cause an increased rate of recidivism. I can’t say that word… recidivism among sex offenders on the public registry. JJ Prescott… his report, “Do Sex Offender Registration and Notification Laws affect Criminal Behavior?” It says it right there.
So when we go to this map again, but I think the Important thing to learn when we talk about the sex offender registry is really education and getting the right facts. Sure. I wouldn’t say Sally should go hang out with someone alone here on the registry. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying, let’s be smarter about it. Let’s educate children and parents and understand where the real threat is because the recidivism rates for people on the registry are low. I don’t have the exact figures right here. But it is low. I’m sure I have it on my website at theoutspokenoffender.com. It is lower versus other crimes. I think the education of sexual offenses, of course need to start at home. Talk to your children. Give them the real facts. But don’t scare them so bad that they don’t want to go outside anymore. I can’t stand that. I mean, it’s like our communities are just going into one freaking, you know, everyone is just scared of everybody now.
I’m kind of rambling. I just get frustrated and it’s hard for me to explain it. But I think you get the idea of what I’ve been talking about today. If you want more information if you want resources, if you want the facts go to my website theoutspokenoffender.com and you can also join the the newsletter mailing list.
So I’d love to hear your comments. Share and like on YouTube. I’d love for you to do that and I hope to talk to you soon. Have a great day.
The post Is Your Neighborhood Safe From Child Predators? appeared first on The Outspoken Offender - Sex Offender Registry Support.
Abolish the Sex Offender Registry – Let’s Try These Options Instead America’s sex offender registry offers no additional protection for children and our communities. This statement has been proven in numerous studies throughout the years. So, if the registry doesn’t work, what else should we try? In this informative podcast episode, I discuss three possible […] The post Podcast: Abolish the Sex Offender Registry – Let’s Try These Options Instead appeared first...
America’s sex offender registry offers no additional protection for children and our communities. This statement has been proven in numerous studies throughout the years.
So, if the registry doesn’t work, what else should we try? In this informative podcast episode, I discuss three possible options: Circles of Accountability, chaperone programs, and support and awareness groups. According to studies I discuss in this episode, all three options are more effective than national sex offender databases in reducing recidivism. So why aren’t communities more active in implementing these programs?
Join me as I discuss this important and conversational topic affecting almost a million people in the United States.
It’s The Outspoken Offender Podcast.
[00:00:11] My hope is to encourage registered citizens, former inmates in anyone facing stereotypes and social ostracism. To move beyond society’s labels. Welcome to the show. Interesting topic for today’s podcast. It’s called “abolish the sex offender registry – let’s try these options instead.” That is a big topic and I want to, I want to talk about it today because there are some alternatives that can be implemented instead of this horrific sex offender registry that does not do any help in our communities.
[00:00:50] It does not make the community safer. In fact, there is evidence that sex offender registries may actually increase the risk of re-offending. And how, how does this happen? You, you might ask it destabilizes the offender as they try to reintegrate back into the community. And what I mean by that is lack of housing.
[00:01:11] Lack of jobs, lack of support all of those things and much more. And just the, the feeling of, shame being put on this, this “list” this “blacklist”, if you want to call it that or “hit list.” All those things come together, and it actually may increase the risk of re-offending. In addition, in registry studies have shown that anywhere.
[00:01:35] And please, when I say studies, do your research, and I’m going to mention some studies here in a moment, please do your own research. It can be backed up. Studies have found that anywhere between 10 to 75% of all entries and the registries have some sort of, of error involved. There’s an error…
[00:01:55] It’s, false. In fact, I looked myself up on Google. I searched my name, and I came up on Illinois state sex offender registry. I’ve never lived in Illinois. I’ve never stepped foot in Illinois. There’s your error there! There’s an example. I couldn’t believe it. So, let me refer you to a study here.
[00:02:17] “A time series analysis of New York state’s sex offender, registration, and notification law.” In this study results provided no support for the effectiveness of registration and community notification laws in reducing sexual offending by (a) rapists, (b) child molesters, (c) sexual recidivists or (d) first-time sex offenders’ studies, or that study also showed that over 95% of all sexual offense arrests were committed by first-time sex offenders.
[00:02:51] Casting doubt on the ability of laws that target repeat offenders to meaningfully reduce sexual offending. So, there is some facts and studies to support my argument today. Now, let’s move on to some options that we could try as a community, as a state, as a nation: restorative justice. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of that.
[00:03:14] But I’m a fan. I support restorative justice when possible and in a safe atmosphere. It has become more popular in recent years as the criminal justice reform movement has gained some steam. Though its roots, which is interesting. It can be traced back to indigenous communities around the globe.
[00:03:35] Some native communities historically focused more on restoring harmony. After a violation rather than punishment. In fact, first nations tribes in Canada and Alaska often used “circles.” To resolve conflicts that considered how the community could be healed after an offense. Now, there is a program that has been established in portions of the United States and Australia and some other countries, but not enough.
[00:04:04] We do not see it enough. It is called “Circles of Support and Accountability,” or CoSA. These involve groups of trained community volunteers who support sex offenders after they’re released from prison. These involve groups of train community volunteers who support sex offenders after they’re released from prison.
[00:04:26] And the research of CoSA suggests that this approach can help reduce re-offending and reintegrate offenders into the community. So that’s some great news that is very positive. So, let’s talk about it. More community volunteers who have worked with sex offenders in CoSA have reported positive outcomes from the experience.
[00:04:44] It has increased, you know, a sense of community. For the former offender self-worth, which is big. Okay. So, let us back this up. Does CoSA, “Circles of Support and Accountability,” could it work? And I think it could…definitely. “Results from a Randomized Controlled Trial in Minnesota, Journal of Experimental Criminology.”
[00:05:06] That is the actual title of the study. Listen to this. You’re not going to believe this. I’m like… it made me excited, happy about it. But I wonder why it’s not implemented in more places. The results suggest CoSA significantly reduced sexual recidivism lowering the risk of rearrest for a new offense by get this…
[00:05:30] I cannot believe it is 88%! Well, I can believe it because I know the program works and there’s proof. Also, the program has generated an estimated 2 million in cost savings to the state resulting in a benefit of over $40,000 per participant. So, it’s cheaper and has better results for keeping the community safer.
[00:05:55] Now, there are some people that are against this. I recently came upon an article by Michael Dulce. He is on the board of directors of the “Florida Council Against Sexual Violence” and was the former political committee chair of Protect our Kids. First, what words stuck out in that sentence?
[00:06:14] Florida. I’m sorry if you’re, if you’re listening from Florida. I apologize, but it has to be the worst state to live as a registrant. Florida is the worst. Anyway, what does Michael say about the CoSA program or restorative justice in general? He said I quote, “the reality is that I believe the majority of sex offenders are largely incapable of empathy.”
[00:06:40] That’s a lie. “Two thirds of male sex offenders will re-offend if they are not treated and restrained as criminals.” Okay, my findings against that is a study done and they studied about 9,600 sex offenders released from prison. In 1994, 3.5% were reconvicted for a sex crime, only 3.5%.
[00:07:11] Now what Michael is referring to when he says, “two thirds of male offenders will re-offend.” That is true, but it is 24% were reconvicted for an offense of any kind during the follow-up period, not a sexual offense. He is making it sound like two thirds of male sex offenders will do another sex offense again.
[00:07:38] No, it’s actually 3.5%. Then the study goes on here: nearly four out of every 10 sex offenders in the study were returned to prison within three years of the release, due to the commission of a new crime or a technical violation of the release conditions. That happens a lot. You’re on probation.
[00:07:59] You’re on parole. You go back to prison, but not necessarily for another sex offense. It could be a technical violation. That is technically not a crime, but it’s against your agreement. So, when I read that article by Michael Dolce, I do not know how to pronounce his last name. It just made me pretty upset.
[00:08:16] And, there’s proof that his findings were a little bit how should I say it? Not as accurate and he didn’t write it out correctly as he should have because it can be very misleading. Okay. So, the second type of alternative program that can be implemented instead of the sex offender registry is called chaperone programs.
[00:08:38] Now these programs are currently available in sections and parts of the U S. Although their nature varies depending on according to their location. I don’t have where they’re available at this point, but I can try to get them. These programs involve the identification and training of offenders, family members, or significant others who agree to accompany the offender during public outings on a volunteer basis. They also undertake training to help them identify the signs of relapse.
[00:09:06] The difference between the groups they did a study on chaperone programs. And there’s not a lot of studies that have been done. In fact, I can only find one, but the difference between the groups that were studied was statistically significant in relation to recidivism, to chaperoned offenders in the study, self-reported engaging in sexual deviancy, too.
[00:09:32] Chaperone defenders compared with nine from the non-chaperone group. Okay. So. I know this gets a little confusing. I’m throwing a lot of numbers out in this podcast, but so two vs nine, the study was done by Farrell. His last name is Farrell. I don’t know I said it was he, but she argued, it provides support for previous research: “suggesting that offenders receive support from family or significant others when released from prison are less likely to take part in the behaviors that originally contributed to their imprisonment.”
[00:10:09] Imprisonment and quote for the third and final suggestion is support and awareness groups. Now, these groups use a sex offender’s existing support network to foster pro social support and promote effective reintegration. It is little bit similar to the chaperone programs. But it’s also different because the members of the support and awareness groups are identified by the offender during treatment.
[00:10:39] And these people may include spouses, other family members, colleagues, friends, neighbors, respected community members with whom they have an existing supportive relationship. Unlike CoSA, the support provided by the support and awareness groups do not take place in a structured manner through like weekly meetings.
[00:11:01] It’s done more on a less formal basis. So that is an option that has been proven. So, wrapping this up here. We know that the sex offender registry does not work. There are numerous studies that show and prove that the registry does not make our community safer. It is expensive and full of errors.
[00:11:24] It brings shame upon the offender and their families. It has numerous collateral damage effects. There are minors and youth on the registry that affect their future in college work. And I just listed three options that prove that they help offenders to not re-offend. I’m going to leave some links on my website.
[00:11:55] theoutspokenoffender.com. Go to my website. If the links are not on this podcast description, please go my blog site. You will see a blog post about this, and I am going to link to some of these reports and studies that I’ve talked about in this podcast, because I want you to be able to read them and have access to them.
[00:12:13] So there you go “Abolish the Sex Offender Registry – Let’s Try These Options Instead.” Have a great week. I’m The Outspoken Offender.
[00:12:28] It’s The Outspoken Offender Podcast.
[00:12:34] My hope is to encourage registered citizens, former inmates, and anyone facing stereotypes and social ostracism to move beyond society’s labels. Thanks for listening to the podcast. I’m The Outspoken Offender. You can find me on YouTube and Twitter. Remember you are not your label.
Is It Okay To Automatically Hate Sex Offenders? — Quora Question Is it okay to automatically hate sex offenders? I took this question to Quora and received three interesting responses. I’ll discuss these answers and briefly discuss the different types of sexual offenders. In addition, let’s also talk about the rationale behind the “same offense: […] The post Is It Okay To Automatically Hate Sex Offenders? — Quora Question appeared first on The Outspoken Offender - Sex Offender...
Is it okay to automatically hate sex offenders? I took this question to Quora and received three interesting responses. I’ll discuss these answers and briefly discuss the different types of sexual offenders. In addition, let’s also talk about the rationale behind the “same offense: very different offenders” argument.
Well, thanks for joining me. I’m The Outspoken Offender back in the studio because it’s just been too damn wet outside where I live. So I’m happy to be inside. I hope your year is going well so far. It’s been a rough Wednesday. You heard I’m sure about the capital that’s another topic of conversation. What I wanted to discuss today is I’m sure you see the title on the YouTube or wherever you’re watching this video. Is is it okay to automatically hate sex offenders? And I put out a question on Quora as I think that’s how you pronounce it Quora. And I actually got some responses back and I was quite surprised at some of the responses.
Let’s take a look here now, Peter. This is a summary because he wrote a lot more but this gives you an idea of what he said. “I don’t feel it’s ever warranted to just hate somebody without knowing them.”
I think that really hits it on the nail on the head there. Sure. Somebody commits a crime, you know, It’s a bad crime. It’s something that shouldn’t have been done. Someone was hurt. There’s victims. But automatically hate that person? A lot of people want to hate that person… that person that did the crime. But I don’t agree with that. We don’t know the full story. We don’t know the person; we don’t know what’s happening in his or her life.
And then also Peter goes on to say that he could have been a registered sex offender years ago for fooling around with his boyfriend. I guess he was underage and let’s see. I’m not a sex offender, but I could have been with my boyfriend when we were underage. So they were both underage. I don’t know if that would have been a crime. But basically he’s saying we don’t know the person it’s not a good idea to just automatically hate anybody.
Another response from David says, “For sure they must be stopped and for sure they must be punished.” We don’t want any abuse. I don’t condone any abuse. So yes, there may must be a punishment for the crime.
“If there is a way to rehabilitate them after the punishment may be as long as no further people are placed at risk.”
It is proven that counseling and therapy does help certain offenders. There’s different types of sexual offenders. There are violent offenders. There are fixated or dedicated child offenders. There are also situational/regressed child offenders. There are situational offenders (non child) and they’re sexually addicted offender. So it could be the same crime but a different person… a different class. And so that’s another reason why not not to automatically hate sex offenders. So many people are lumped together in the same group. Somebody over here was dating a 16 year old when they’re 18.
And there’s a registered sex offender someone over here that has downloaded child pornography but was considered non-nude child pornography. But sexual in nature the way they are posed. He/she gets charged with child pornography. No nudity. No sexual acts, but the outfits or the posing was a suggestive sexually pose. Then you might have the more serious crimes.
You know abuse, kidnapping, molestation. So everybody is mixed into one group. So I mean if there’s a reason that’s the main reason that everybody’s lumped in together. We have to look at the individual.
Let’s go on to another response that I received and it’s from I’m Imel. I believe that’s a man. I’ll just say it’s a man. He says no it’s not.
“No it is not. To hate someone is a serious matter and an automated reaction to anything is unlikely to be unlikely to be reasonable.” And then he goes on and talks about homosexual acts were once sex crimes and and all that stuff. It’s an interesting response and I have not received a response saying yes. Yes. We need to hate them all on the Quora question. So I’m actually surprised about that. I just want to point out that since there are different offenders and perhaps the same offense…so same offense different offenders. I think it is not okay to automatically hate someone that’s done a crime including registered sex offenders.
As I mentioned earlier violent offenders, dedicated child offenders, situational child offenders, offenders (non child) sexual addicted offenders. And that’s pretty much it the different class. So in my opinion instead of automatically judging the entire group here, and we’re talking about registered sex offenders again, it could be a youth that did something wrong, you could be a mother who peed in the park depending on what state she lives on. It could be somebody with child pornography. It could be someone you know… there’s a big variety here. So instead of automatically lumping everybody together and saying I hate you we should try to educate ourselves about individuals on the registry and the behaviors they do we need to understand this better instead of locking everybody away and feeling safe. Because that is not going to solve the problem.
It’s education folks. And it is also the ability to be open-minded and to learn instead of automatically hating registered sex offenders.
So that’s pretty much what I wanted to discuss today. And again, your comments are welcomed either if you agree with me or not. I am open to your comments and please join my YouTube channel. I’m also on Twitter and I hope to talk to you soon. I will talk to you soon. I’ll do another video here soon and have a great week.
The Sex Offender Registry and the Collateral Damage to Families On May 17, 1996, President Bill Clinton signed federal Megan’s Law, an amendment to the Jacob Wetterling Act. That set the guidelines for the state statutes, requiring states to notify the public of registrants. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, as […] The post Podcast: The Sex Offender Registry and the Collateral Damage to Families appeared first on The Outspoken Offender - Sex...
On May 17, 1996, President Bill Clinton signed federal Megan’s Law, an amendment to the Jacob Wetterling Act. That set the guidelines for the state statutes, requiring states to notify the public of registrants. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, as of 2016, there were 859,500 registered sex offenders in the United States.
This important podcast episode discusses the collateral damage to children and families of registrants. Are children and shamed because their loved one is on the registry? Are families harassed by neighbors? These questions and more are answered and discussed on this episode of The Outspoken Offender.
It’s the Outspoken Offender Podcast.
[00:00:07] My hope is to encourage registered citizens, former inmates in anyone facing stereotypes and social ostracism to move beyond societies’ labels. Welcome to the show.
[00:00:27] The sex offender registry and the collateral damage to families. This is the topic on today’s podcast, episode four. My name is The Outspoken Offender, and I want to thank everybody following and downloading these podcasts. That means a lot to me and a lot of people as well out there involved in the registry and having to be registered on the list.
[00:00:50] So what type of collateral damage are we talking about? How does somebody on the sex offender registry affect other people, other you know, their families, their friends, their children. Well, that’s what I want to talk about today. And I want to step back just for a second to briefly explain that in 1996 Congress passed, what’s called Megan’s Law.
[00:01:15] I’m sure you’re familiar with that. This allowed states to publicize the names of those convicted of sex offenses, a wave of federal, and then state laws followed, and it created online sex offender registries, as we know them today. It also broadened who is listed and restricted where registrants can live.
[00:01:34] So basically 1996 was a big turning point in the sex offender registry. If you are listed on the registry, if you’re a registrant, you probably know what effects it can have on your life and your family. Perhaps you’re listening today and you are a father of a registrant, or a mother of a registered, or a child of a registrant…a child or an adult child.
[00:02:03] The registry has a lot of collateral damage involved. So first I want to discuss how the sex offender registry can have collateral damage for children, children of parents on the list, on the blacklist or the hit list. Research says that registries and residency bans leave children of sex offenders, vulnerable to bullying and homelessness.
[00:02:31] I was looking over this article today and it’s called “Collateral Damage, Harsh Sex Offender Laws May Put Whole Families at Risk.” It’s by the reporter, Steven Yoder. And I want to just briefly summarize this story that was in this article and the girl who goes by “Kat.” She’s a 16 year old girl who left the United States with her family for a different country.
[00:02:54] She won’t name the country she moved to for fear that she will become a target of intimidation or worse. Now her father is on a state sex offender registry after being found guilty 31 years ago of molesting a ten-year-old boy. In February, 2007, when Kat was eight, her school district sent out a pamphlet with the names, the photos of the addresses of all registrants in the area, including her fathers.
[00:03:20] I couldn’t imagine having to go through that as an eight-year old girl, knowing that your father, his information where he lives, what he did, is going to be passed around to your peers, to your friends, to your teachers. Oh my goodness. And this is just one of, one of many examples. So the story goes on.
[00:03:43] It didn’t take long for her to feel the fallout of this. She was disinvited from a birthday party that weekend. She says the following week, a friend’s mother stopped her daughter from talking to Kat on the street and told her never again, to go near Kat or her house. From that point forward, she lost nearly all her friends.
[00:04:06] Now when Kat hit middle school in the fall of 2009, the isolation turned into sexual harassment. Boys would approach her in the hall and on the street with lewd suggestions. A group of boys crowded her up against a wall. One day in school, quote, “Since you’re screwing your dad, you shouldn’t mind screwing us.” After more isolation and bullying, on March, 2013, the family uprooted and left the country.
[00:04:35] What devastation for that family. What does this solve? Absolutely nothing. A crime committed 31 years prior. And the daughter of the man is feeling the collateral effects. She’s innocent. She has never done anything wrong and she’s getting harassed, sexually harassed, teased so bad that the family had to leave the country. Outrageous, outrageous.
[00:05:07] There’s another report that you may be familiar with. It’s a pretty well known it’s called “Collateral Damage: Family Members of Registered Sex Offenders.” It was put together and written by Jill Levinson and Richard Tewksbury. If you’re not familiar with this study, I’m going to go ahead and put a link on my blog post on my website. It’s going to be a PDF. You can download it for free.
[00:05:31] Now the sample was comprised of 584 participants. So the children of RSOs, registered sex offenders, are reported to be to most often exhibit anger, 80% said, yes. Depression, 77%. Anxiety, 73%. I mean, just imagine if you were a Kat in school, thinking, oh my God. People are gonna find out, you know, what kind of anxiety and depression that’s going to cause?
[00:05:59] Okay, so feeling left out by peers: 65% said yes. And fear, general fear: 63%. Additionally, more than one and eight, 13% of the children of RSOs were reported to exhibit suicidal tendencies.
[00:06:16] Here’s another result. From the same study, “My family member, the registered sex offender, or RSO had a very hard time finding a job because employers don’t want to hire a registered sex offender, and this has created financial hardship for my family.” 82% of the participants said yes.
[00:06:41] I can’t find a job. You might not be able to find a job. We all know how much discrimination in employment occurs when you’re on the registry. And that creates hardship for the family. And I’ll discuss my personal experiences in here in just a second.
[00:07:01] Another result from the study: “My family member of the RSO lost a job because a boss or coworkers found out through Megan’s law that he or she was a sex offender and this created financial hardship for my family.” 53% said yes. I’m surprised that’s not higher. Because honestly I think that’s one of the toughest things to deal with. Especially in a marriage when money is a very you know, a challenge. And if you have money problems, you’re going to have probably relationship problems.
[00:07:30] I’m going to give you one more here: “I have been threatened or harassed by neighbors after they found out that my family member is a sex offender.” How many people do you think? It’s pretty high… 44%. That’s going to vary too, depending on what state you live on. If the certain state has tiers and something like some states, especially along the West coast, they don’t put your information on the state registry if you’re a lower level.
[00:07:59]But still it happens. It happens a lot. Harassment from neighbors, especially when the y pass around flyers and all that bull crap. Since this is a shorter-form podcast. these are just quick examples. There are many, many more. If you’re interested in this topic, I encourage you to go to several sites.
[00:08:24] The first one is, is NARSOL. It stands for National Association for Rational Sexual Offense Laws. They have a blog. They have what’s called “Tales from the Registry.” Go there, check it out. Another site you can go to is Women Against Registry. It’s not just for women. It’s for everybody.
[00:08:49]Great resources, great support. Once again, womenagainstregistry.org. Vicki Henry, I know her personally, she does so much good work for making smarter laws and advocating for the families and the people on the registry. Also some great research can be found on oncefallen.org. Okay. I’m actually, I wanna make sure I have that right once fall in and I can’t seem to type I’m sorry.
[00:09:20] Okay. That will give you a lot of information. From Derek Logue, he’s been doing a lot of research and you’ll find good information there. I want to talk about my personal experiences and it goes back to what I was just talking about a second ago.
[00:09:44] Finances. You know, I think that’s the biggest issue that I’ve had, and really, it was a major reason for my divorce in 2016. My divorce had a lot to do with the stress of being on the sex offender registry due to the lack of a secure job and housing. Money was always an issue for us. We were evicted from our apartment twice in four years.
[00:10:15] There was always this fear of how are we going to make rent this month? In addition, it wasn’t just us. It was two kids, my stepchildren, her children, We were supporting, you know, a total of four people. So it was a huge challenge and eventually it just got so much the stress of me not being able to find a decent job, being turned down for, you know, jobs and being laid off and all that stuff.
[00:10:41] So it is tough. It is very tough. And we need to really think about the sex offender registry and how it affects families and children, not just the person on the list. That’s another topic. I mean, we know the negative effects of the registry, the shame and all that, but I wanted to really hit on how it affects the family and how it affects the children of the registrant’s.
[00:11:07] So. I hope this podcast helped you out a little bit. I really appreciate you listening. You can go to my website, theoutspokenoffender.com. I have lots of videos as well. Enjoy the new year. Let’s start this new year off, right. I’m really hoping for a better year. All right. Take care. And thanks for listening.
[00:11:32] It’s the Outspoken Offender Podcast.
[00:11:38] My hope is to encourage registered citizens, former inmates and anyone facing stereotypes and social ostracism to move beyond society’s labels. Thanks for listening to the podcast. I’m The Outspoken Offender. You can find me on YouTube and Twitter. Remember, you are NOT your label.
The Outspoken Offender Launches Podcast About Life On The Registry The Outspoken Offender (“TOO”) has launched a podcast discussing the sex offender registry, social ostracism, housing, and employment rejection, and empathy. For Immediate Release The Outspoken Offender has launched a new podcast discussing life on the sex offender registry. The short-form podcast is described as […] The post The Outspoken Offender Launches Podcast About Life On The Registry appeared first on The...
The Outspoken Offender (“TOO”) has launched a podcast discussing the sex offender registry, social ostracism, housing, and employment rejection, and empathy.
The Outspoken Offender has launched a new podcast discussing life on the sex offender registry. The short-form podcast is described as a positive show and looks to encourage ex-offenders and their families. The free podcast is an extension of TOO’s YouTube channel under the same name.
“Being a former TV news and radio personality, the YouTube channel and podcast is a great fit to share my message. My main goal is to bring a better understanding of the sex offender registry to the public and how it affects lives.”
TOO also states that taking full responsibility and recognizing victim impact is important for ex-offenders in order to be a positive presence in society. In his episode, Can You Shed The Sex Offender Stigma?, TOO discusses the story of Justin Vargas, a teen basketball scout and registered sex offender in Phoenix, Arizona. Vargas, according to the episode, continues to receive push back from the community even though he’s proven himself to be a positive role-model.
The popular show can be heard on a variety of popular directories including Google, Apple, and Stitcher. TOO plans on at least a new podcast episode every week and encourages comments and suggestions.
For more information on The Outspoken Offender’s YouTube Channel and podcast, please visit: https://www.theoutspokenoffender.com
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