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  • Randi Fine
  • August 25, 2015 01:11:18 AM
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Randi Fine, author, counselor, and radio show host shares 100's of articles on Self Help, Spirituality, Relationship Advice, Mental Health Issues, and many inspiring picture quotes for you to share.

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In These Troubling Times: Choosing to Walk In Your Own Power

In These Troubling Times Choosing to Walk In Your Own Power Written by Randi Fine Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine In these troubling times I would like to offer another perspective; a more realistic, hopeful, proactive one I believe. There is injustice in this world. No one ever said life is fair. … In These Troubling Times: Choosing to Walk In Your Own Power Read More » The post In These Troubling Times: Choosing to Walk In Your Own Power appeared first...

In These Troubling Times

Choosing to Walk In Your Own Power

Written by Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

In these troubling times I would like to offer another perspective; a more realistic, hopeful, proactive one I believe.

There is injustice in this world. No one ever said life is fair. It is not. And while we may be able to somewhat rely on government to protect basic human rights, we cannot rely on them to fix all society’s ills or protect us from everyone who wishes to aggress against us. Bad things will always happen to good people.

Society by definition dictates that there must be guidelines. The job of law enforcement is to protect those who follow them from those who do not. There are bad seeds in law enforcement just as there are bad seeds in every facet of society. We cannot hold an entire group responsible for the heinous acts of certain individuals.

It is evident that persecution and discrimination against minority groups has always existed, just as it exists now.  Though many activists have fought for rights and affected some change in this regard, that phenomenon in general does not appear likely to change any time soon.  

It is true that each of us has the responsibility and power to affect change and that there is power in groups. Peaceful protest is our civil right. When done effectively it does command the attention of our elected powers that be and does affect change.  But as of late it seems the primary message has lost its focus.

In these troubling times, other agendas have gotten piled on. Now many protesters are asking to erase the very history of the United States of America. History is not good or bad. It is just history. People did what they did when they did it, right or wrong. Those who learned better have done better. Instead of erasing the past, persecuted groups have dedicated days of honor, mourning and remembrance to the horrific events in history their people suffered.  Remember, honor, and mourn—not erase.

Everyone suffers. We should never be prisoners of our past. The past is there for life lessons, not life sentences. There comes a time when we must stop being bitter for what was done to us, and walk in our own power—take individual responsibility for the footprint we make in this world and the legacy we leave behind.

The responsibility each of us has, if we truly want to spark the changes we believe in, is to personally take action. To personally focus our heart and passion on those individuals we believe need our help. We are each responsible for spreading ripples of love, rather than ripples of blame, resentment, hate, and anger.  

There is power in action, not reaction—power in love, not hate—power in assistance, not resistance—power in gratitude, not resentment. There is no power in fear, blame, and anger.  

A peaceful world begins with positive actions taken by committed individuals; each using their personal power to affect positive change.

Randi Fine is the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.

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Pathological Narcissistic Abuse: Psychological Warfare and Brainwashing

Pathological Narcissistic Abuse Psychological Warfare and Brainwashing Written by Randi Fine Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine Pathological narcissistic abuse is far more damaging than any of us can possibly conceive. Have no doubt—it is both psychological warfare and mind control. Various techniques of psychological warfare, also known as “psy ops” have been … Pathological Narcissistic Abuse: Psychological Warfare and Brainwashing Read More » The post...

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Pathological Narcissistic Abuse

Psychological Warfare and Brainwashing

Written by Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Pathological narcissistic abuse is far more damaging than any of us can possibly conceive. Have no doubt—it is both psychological warfare and mind control.

Various techniques of psychological warfare, also known as “psy ops” have been used since the beginning of time by warlords, chiefs, malevolent dictators, and in espionage operations to extract information and evoke desired reactions from captives.

Mind-control, also known as brainwashing or coercive persuasion, is the method used by cults to systematically break down someone’s sense of self.

Narcissists use both these tactics and for the same objectives.

The abuse campaigns of pathological narcissists may be verbal, physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, sexual and/or financial. They learn where their targets are particularly vulnerable and then attack.

Believing they are the victims in every situation and everyone else their enemies, puts them forever on the defensive. Their very survival depends on them “getting” you before you “get” them.

Any perceived attack triggers the narcissist’s deeply embedded pain. He despises this aspect of himself and subconsciously tries to annihilate it through the use of his false self. Unable to restrain himself when triggered, he must project his hatred outward and annihilate a tangible target, hence the abuse. He doesn’t want to hurt himself so he hurts others. Unable to feel what others feel or experience remorse or guilt over the pain he inflicts on others, that is easy for him to do.

As empathetic people who have the ability to put ourselves in the shoes of others, we cannot possibly grasp the mindset of the narcissist. Our eyes deceive us. Seeing people who look and act as we do in every other way inclines us to assume they feel emotions the way we do.

Fully aware that others think that way, narcissists use it to their advantage. Unable to imagine anyone having the capability for such heartlessness, we are vulnerable to their manipulations. That is how they trap us.

No matter the nature of the relationship we have with narcissists, we are nothing but an ends to a means for them. If being nice to us gets them what they want, they will be nice. But they are not nice people or patient people. Pleasantry is the longer, harder route to their destination. They can only keep it up for so long.

Narcissists are driven by one primary goal; gaining control over their victims to have captive narcissistic supply. Abusiveness is the narcissist’s natural inclination. They have great endurance for the terrorist attacks they systematically wage on others.

Narcissists are innovative and resourceful in their craft. Some tactics are more easily recognized than others, though all are destructive.

Stealth abuse is a surreptitious form of psychological narcissistic abuse that is perpetrated behind closed doors. Victims of stealth abuse are unable to recognize what is happening to them while it is occurring. They know that something is wrong with the way they are being treated but cannot figure out exactly what it is. Unable to pinpoint the source of the problem, victims look within themselves for answers and ultimately assume the blame.

Because stealth abuse is unseen and leaves no physical marks it is very hard for outsiders to recognize, therefore easy for them to trivialize. Victims seeking credibility for their accounts of abuse among friends, family members, and the community can never find it.

This is copyrighted material. May only be shared with permission and proper attribution.

Randi Fine is the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.

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Childhood Narcissistic Abuse and Adult Empathic Sensitivity

Childhood Narcissistic Abuse and Adult Empathic Sensitivity Written by Randi Fine Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine Having worked with hundreds of NPD abuse survivors over the years I have noted, again and again, the undeniable correlation between childhood narcissistic abuse and adult empathic sensitivity. If there is an exception to this rule … Childhood Narcissistic Abuse and Adult Empathic Sensitivity Read More » The post Childhood Narcissistic Abuse and...

Childhood Narcissistic Abuse and Adult Empathic Sensitivity

Written by Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Having worked with hundreds of NPD abuse survivors over the years I have noted, again and again, the undeniable correlation between childhood narcissistic abuse and adult empathic sensitivity. If there is an exception to this rule I have never witnessed it.

Some empaths are born with their energetic sensitivity, but many are created through childhood trauma such as narcissistic abuse. This heightened sensitivity is a learned response, an unconscious survival mechanism likely to have developed to withstand the threatening environment from which they could not escape.

Children living under the constant threat of narcissistic abuse become hypersensitive to the danger that exists around them, particularly changes in the emotional states and moods of their abusers. In time they develop a reactionary response to subtle changes in the energy fields around them.

To manage and endure the devastating effects of the danger, emotionally abused children often put their own needs aside, monitor their own behaviors, and focus entirely upon the needs and wants of their abusers. This continual focus on the needs and emotional states of others prevents their own development of self-love, self-esteem, and healthy coping mechanisms.

Even after becoming physically removed from from the threat, adult children of narcissistic abuse remain hypersensitive to the subtle energetic changes around them. The pattern evolves from a maladaptive state to an instinctive nature.

Those who do not recognize and learn how to deal with their heightened sensitivity will suffer from the absorption of all the emotions around them. Depression and low energy often result.

Their lack of ability to filter the energies around them turns them into emotional sponges. Crowded places such as shopping malls, supermarkets, stadiums or movie theaters can overwhelm empaths’ senses; fill them with uncomfortable emotions, emotions that feel like their own but are not.

Natural caregivers, they will continue anticipating the wants and needs of others while disregarding their own. Giving all they have without holding anything in reserve or receiving anything back is a constant source of stress and a drain on their inner resources.

After never having put themselves first, self love and self protection are foreign concepts for adult children of narcissistic abuse to grasp. Though the inclination to care for others is deeply ingrained in them, they must learn how to care for their own needs first; to “fill their own well with love so others may drink from it.”

Adult children of narcissistic abuse, empaths, must learn how to monitor their propensity for over-caregiving and accept that they cannot be all things for all people. They can, however, learn how to be everything to themselves.

This is copyrighted material. May only be shared with permission and proper attribution.

Randi Fine is the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.

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How to Spot a Narcissist on the Prowl

How to Spot a Narcissist on the Prowl Written by Randi Fine Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine It is crucial for everyone to know how to spot a narcissist on the prowl They are everywhere. These predators covertly walk among us in droves. Adept at changing their personalities in pursuit of their … How to Spot a Narcissist on the Prowl Read More » The post How to Spot a Narcissist on the Prowl appeared first on Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with...

Black and yellow danger sign warning how to spot a narcissist

How to Spot a Narcissist on the Prowl

Written by Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

It is crucial for everyone to know how to spot a narcissist on the prowl They are everywhere. These predators covertly walk among us in droves. Adept at changing their personalities in pursuit of their life-blood, narcissistic supply, and presenting with a human appearance, they are virtually unrecognizable. This reality is terrifying to anyone who has ever been unwittingly targeted and trapped in their webs of deceit.

Learning how to spot a narcissist is about recognizing the warning signs the covert person on the prowl will likely exhibit.

Charismatic or Pitiful Individuals

Narcissists are notorious for their charismatic personalities. This ability is crucial in capturing narcissistic supply and when recognized should be avoided. But they can also present as people who are down on their luck: their ex left them, parents were abusive, they’re financially struggling, no place to live, etc. If they size you up as compassionate, forgiving, generous, and/or someone with undefined boundaries they may use this tactic to make you feel sorry for them. Warning: Both could be traps.

Life Story or Situation Closely Matches Yours

Narcissists want to bring your guard down. One way to accomplish that is to point out the commonalities that exist between you. They may relate similar stories to yours, share similar backgrounds, enjoy the same things you do (sports, music, hobbies, food, etc.), or express similar life goals. If you say you are considering relocating to a specific area they may say they’ve always thought about moving there. Warning: If things seem too perfect right out of the gate they probably are not.

The Interview

Narcissists interview potential victims in the dating and honeymoon stage of the “relationship” so they will eventually know exactly how to hurt them. They pretend to be totally interested in what you have to say and encourage you to share your goals, hopes, dreams for the future.. They also encourage you to reveal the details of people, events, or traumas that have caused you pain. This tactic makes you feel as if you have finally found a best friend; one who is is interested in what you have to say, is easy to talk to, and “gets” you. Warning: Everything you say can and will be used against you. The purpose of the interview is to get you to reveal all your emotional buttons. You can be certain they will eventually push every one of them. Don’t share any personal information until you know exactly who you are sharing it with.

Too Much Chemistry

Narcissists get the endorphins firing in your brain to create an addiction to them and blind you to the truth of who they really are. Many women tell me that they would not have normally been attracted to the narcissistic men but there was “just something about them” they couldn’t resist. Men usually tell me that the narcissistic women are irresistibly beautiful. These statements are general. Sometimes the men are good looking and the women physically unattractive. What’s important to know is that if physical intimacy enters the picture too soon you can easily be trapped. When allowed to be expressed, chemistry with a narcissist is usually intense. To avoid the temptation, only date in neutral places; never at either of your homes. Warning: Beware of fiery beginnings. Take it slow.

Leave the Caretaker in You Home

Narcissists will test you to see how generous, understanding, and flexible you are. If you show that side to them they will know you are an easy mark. Let them pamper you for awhile. Resist the temptation to offer up any of your money. Do not feel as if you have to reciprocate any of their gestures or expenditures. Once they’ve been carefully vetted you can loosen that up a bit. Warning: Don’t be a rescuer or look to be rescued. Healthy relationships take two whole, mentally healthy people who have resolved their own issues and are invested in each other one hundred percent. If you have the tendency to give too much, work on your boundary system before you begin dating.

Verify, Verify, Verify

Narcissists lie about everything so take nothing they say at face value, no matter how sincerely it seems to be said. Assume, until proven otherwise, that nothing said to you is true. Verify everything you’ve been told; who they are, where they live, where they work, who their family is, how much money they have or make, etc. If the information cannot be verified it is likely to be false. Warning: You may be dating an imposter.

Name Smearing

Narcissists notoriously smear peoples’ names for revenge purposes. Beware of anyone who talks trash about her/his exes. Their exes are probably very nice people, just as you are, who were victimized and then either thrown away or wised up. Warning: You could be next.

A person with good intentions should pass this test with flying colors. When in doubt, trust your instincts. They never lie. If something feels “off” then it is. Yes, you are over-cautious because you’ve been badly burned, but anyone truly interested in you will allow you to set the rules and the pace. Do not be pressured.

Abuse prevention begins with recognizing the red flags. Once you know how to spot a narcissist you will never again fall prey to one.

Randi Fine is the podcast host of A Fine Time for Healing, narcissistic abuse coach for clients worldwide, and the author of Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery and Cliffedge Road: A Memoir.


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Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes

Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes By Randi Fine Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance With Randi Fine A Collection of Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes to Brighten Your Day IF you smile at me I will understand, cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language. ~Crosby, Stills, Nash, and … Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes Read More » The post Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes appeared first on Narcissistic Abuse...

Black and White photo of elderly woman smiling

Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes

By Randi Fine

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance With Randi Fine

A Collection of Twenty Five Most Inspiring Smile Song Quotes to Brighten Your Day

IF you smile at me I will understand, cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language. ~Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, Wooden Ships

JUST to see you smile I’d do anything that you wanted me to. And all is said and done, I’d never count the cost, it’s worth all that’s lost just to see you smile. ~Tim McGraw, Just to See You Smile 

JUST take up a course in happiness, take up a course to clear out your mind. You will show yourself how to smile. Take up a course in happiness, take up a free instruction in life. You will learn how to smile. ~Stevie Wonder, Take Up a Course In Happiness

SMILE though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking, when there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by.  If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun come shining through for you. ~Charlie Chaplin, Smile

WHENEVER I see your smiling face I have to smile myself because I love you.  ~James Taylor, Your Smiling Face

AND when I feel I can’t go on, you come and hold me. It’s you and me forever, Sara smile. Won’t you smile a while for me, Sara ~Hall and Oates, Sara Smile

WHEN I see you smile I can face the world, you know I can do anything.  When I see you smile I see a ray of light, I see it shining right through the rain when I see you smile. ~Uncle Sam, When I See You Smile

COME on you people now, smile on your brother.  Everybody get together try to love one another right now. ~Dave Clark Five, Everybody Get Together

YOUR clothes may be Chanel, Gucci, your shoes crocodile, but baby you’re never fully dressed without a smile. ~Charles Strouse and Martin Charnin, You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile (from the show Annie)

I’M gonna smile cause I wanna make you happy, laugh so you can’t see my cry.  I’m gonna let you go in style, and even if it kills me I’m gonna smile.  ~Lonestar, Smile

THE shadow of your smile will light the dawn, and color all my dreams when you have gone. ~ Frank Sinatra, The Shadow of Your Smile

LIKE ripples in a pond or runners who pass the baton, good feelings will go on for mile after mile. And your big heart circles the world every time that you smile. ~Dan Zayne, Smile, Smile, Smile

THE smile of my child makes me realize that I’m alive. The smile of my child makes my life worth living. The smile of my child is a reflection of my life. And an endless source of love, an endless source of love and giving. ~Amber, The Smile of My Child

CARRY on smiling and the world will smile with you. Life is a flower so precious in your hand, carry on smiling and the world will smile with you. ~Ace of Base, Life is a Flower

GIVE a little bit of smile and the world would smile too. Yes, a little bit of smile and the sun will shine through. Give a little bit of smile.  Spread the cheers now.  Spread them smile after smile. ~ Lea Salonga, Give a Little Bit of Smile

A smile can’t be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen. For it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. You know, some people are just too tired to give you a smile, so why not give them one of yours as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more smiles to give. Come on, smile. ~ Johnny Young, Smile

OH the light from your smile can be seen for a mile by travelers dark in their sorrow. If you want me to stay, throw a smile my way, and I’ll stay by your side ’till tomorrow. ~Jackson Browne. The Light From Your Smile

JUST let a smile be your umbrella, on a rainy, rainy day . . . And if your sweetie cries, just tell her, that a smile will always pay . . . Whenever skies are gray, don’t you worry or fret. A smile will bring the sunshine, and you’ll never get wet! ~Bing Crosby, Just Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella

I promise that I’ll always love you, I’ll cherish you all the while.  And we’ll go through the years together with the heaven I found in your smile. ~Jan Wilderman, Heaven in Your Smile

TAKE everything easy. Show me a smile. It doesn’t take much to please me my little child. Shine me a light from your eyes dear. Don’t let me see a single tear. Take everything easy. Show me a smile. ~Fleetwood Mac, Show Me a Smile

IN a little while you’ll see, Rosemarie you must keep on tryin.’ I know that he hurt you bad, I know, darling, don’t be sad and smile a little smile for me, Rosemarie, Rosemarie. ~The Flying Machine, Smile a Little Smile For Me

I can’t smile without you, I can’t smile without you. I can’t laugh and I can’t sing, I’m finding it hard to do anything. You see I feel sad when your sad, I feel glad when you’re glad. If you only knew what I’m going through, I just can’t smile. ~Barry Manilow, I Can’t Smile Without You

YOU make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night. You make me dance like fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold, buzz like a bee. Just the thought of you can drive me wild. Oh, you make me smile. ~Uncle Kracker, Smile

WHEN you’re smiling, when you’re smiling,the whole world, it smiles with you. When you’re laughin’g, when you’re laughing, the sun comes shinin’g through. ~Louis Armstrong, When You’re Smiling

YOU’RE always in my heart from early in the mornin’ til it’s dark. I gotta see your sweet, sweet smile everyday. When I wake up in the mornin’ and I see you there I always whisper a little prayer. I gotta see your sweet, sweet smile everyday. ~Carpenters, Sweet Sweet Smile

Other Quote Collections:

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Toxic Mothers on Mother’s Day: Why They Don’t Deserve Your Time

Toxic Mothers on Mother’s Day Why They Don’t Deserve Your Time By Lenora Thompson on Psych Central Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine Who doesn’t want to be close to their mother, especially on Mother’s Day? But for thousands, it’s just not possible. Being with Mom hurts too much. Her “love” is toxic. … Toxic Mothers on Mother’s Day: Why They Don’t Deserve Your Time Read More » The post Toxic Mothers on Mother’s Day:...

Toxic Mothers on Mother’s Day

Why They Don’t Deserve Your Time

By Lenora Thompson on Psych Central

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine

Who doesn’t want to be close to their mother, especially on Mother’s Day? But for thousands, it’s just not possible. Being with Mom hurts too much. Her “love” is toxic. It causes too much emotional pain. No time is this more controversial and guilt-inducing than on Mother’s Day.

How Do I Know if Mom is Toxic? Does your stomach clench when her number pops up on your caller ID? Do you grimace and roll your eyes when her voice whines from your voicemail? Does her impending visit fill you with dread? Do you clean like a fiend before her “white glove” test? Do you pick stupid fights with your spouse as a passive/aggressive way to relieve the stress of being obliged to visit Mom? Do you put on a smiley act around her, but heave a sigh of relief when she leaves? Do you need time alone to recover from spending time with her? Do you teach your children to play dumb” or lie when she asks them intrusive questions? Do you interrogate them after a visit to see what private information Grandma tricked them into revealing? Do you find yourself screaming in the privacy of your car or basement when she visits but not know why? Do you get headaches when she’s around, but blame it on being allergic to her perfume or the overwhelming scent of her fabric softener?

Do you pretend you’re not home when she knocks on your door? Has she summoned the sheriff to do a “welfare check” when you ignored her knock?

Does she fake heart attacks and cancers to bend you to her will? Does she create dramas to steal the attention during weddings, parties and family get-togethers?

When your child says, “Mom, your just like Grandma,” do you snap, “Don’t you EVER say that again!

Those are clues!

The Mother/Child Bond

There’s somethin’ so special about that mother/child bond. It’s like no other. William Thackeray said, “Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

Ain’t that the truth!

If you had that special relationship with your mom, it’s precious to you. If you didn’t, you miss it and wish you’d had it.

But sometimes, something goes wrong with that bond.

Motherly Love?

Unfortunately, sometimes love turns toxic. Just think about Mrs. Wolowitz on The Big Bang Theory. Does she love Howard, her little bubbala?

Yeah, she does!

But her “love” nearly squashed his dreams, ruined his life and has made his marriage to Bernadette so much more difficult than it needed to be.

That’s what I mean by a toxic love!

No Excuse!

For some reason, motherhood has attained a sacred status in our collective psyche. Mothers can do no wrong. Mothers can get away with anything. That’s why a woman with a selfish agenda can exploit her motherhood to get away with anything.

Anything!

Motherly love is the perfect smokescreen for abuse. She can pretty much do anything to her kids, as long as she brainwashes them to believe that she’s doing it from love for their own good. And if the lovey-dovey (lovebombing) brainwashing doesn’t bend them to her will, turning on the tears and giving them the silent treatment works, too. It’s called “false guilt.”

Sibling Conundrum

Just because your siblings think Mom is wonderful doesn’t mean you had the same “wonderful” mothering they experienced. Ever heard the terms “golden child” and “scapegoat?” For some reason, in some families, the parents assign these roles to their kids. I said assigned. These roles aren’t necessarily earned.

So, yeah, if you’re the scapegoat, Mom wasn’t an angel to you. But she may have been angelic to your “golden child” sibling(s). And now, they’re on her side and she sics them on you every time you defy her iron will. It’s a dynamic called “flying monkeys.”

Face It!

Just because a woman may have come from a dysfunctional family doesn’t give her the right to perpetuate the abuse. Just because a woman gave birth to you and raised you doesn’t mean she’s has the right to ruin the rest of your life. She may simper and coo, hug and kiss, but she doesn’t own you!

Face it! The woman has almost single-handedly ruined your life. She’s behind much of the conflict in your marriage. And now, she’s trying to get her claws into your kids.

Are you gonna stand for that!?

Kick False Guilt in the Cajones

What’ve you got to feel guilty about!?! She worked hard at alienating you. You’ve given her tens, hundreds, thousands of chances. Swallowed your tears, your anger for decades. But no! She’s just as toxic as ever.

So let her rally the flying monkeys against you. Let her sob into her decaf and, like Mrs. Wolowitz, tell everyone “what a horrible son [or daughter] you are.”

She deserves to be alone for Mother’s Day, ’cause motherhood doesn’t sanctify abuse.

Lenora Thompson is a syndicated Huffington Post freelance writer and food blogger. Her readers call her the “Edward Snowden” and “Wikileaks” of narcissism because of her no-holds-barred-take-no-prisoners approach to writing about narcissism. “Narcissism Meets Normalcy” is the real-life, ongoing story of her healing journey from being held “hostage” by a multi-generational, cult-like narcissistic family. It’s gritty and real, bloody and bruised, humorous and sarcastic. Lenora Thompson considers herself a “whistleblower,” shining a spotlight on narcissistic abuse so others can also claim their freedom and experience healing. To learn more about Lenora, her husband Michael’s heroic battle with Pulmonary Alveolar Proteinosis and to read her writings about food, please visit www.lenorathompsonwriter.com. Thank you!

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