A diary like blog listing the things I worry about and when I worry about them. An insight into my life and my mind.
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As a shy person trying to become more confident you receive a lot of advice. The majority of the advice is “common sense” and as a result not very useful at all; “Try harder”, “Talk to more people”, “Talk more”. … Continue reading...
As a shy person trying to become more confident you receive a lot of advice. The majority of the advice is “common sense” and as a result not very useful at all; “Try harder”, “Talk to more people”, “Talk more”. Sometimes that advice can be very helpful in the right environment “Just stay with us and don’t care what anybody thinks”. But sometimes it depends.
Alter egos is an example of this. They can be good and they can be bad.
Alter egos are an effective way for a shy person to come out of their shell (if of course they can stick to the alter ego to start off with). However, because of the new attention because of the ability to talk, the freedom from being shy, people lose track of who they were. They throw away the old them and create a new one based on what they think people will like. They will pretend to be someone that society accepts so they aren’t shy anymore and are “like able”.
This is bad.
But there are good alter egos. For example, a lot of people have an “online” me and an “offline” me. They act differently depending on whether or not they are socially interacting online or offline. This is a good alter ego. If you are a shy person and you can act freely online (like myself all though I don’t consider this to be an alter ego just me being less caring), you can still have a vast social life. You can interact with people freely online in a comfortable environment, get to know them and then (when you’re comfortable) meet them in real life. It’s like a safety net for making friends.
People use alter egos online because its anonymous. If you are talking to someone you have never met before you can say anything you want to, act how you want and they won’t know if its really you or if you’re acting up, and although this can be done in real life as well its a lot easier to do online. The fact there are no direct consequences and no awkwardness means you are less like to worry about the “what ifs…”. Now there are some people who are shy online and confident in real life (I don’t really get why or how) and these people really don’t need to be. Yes there are cases of “cyber bullying” but make someone anonymous and they will literally do anything and lose sight of themselves (If you are interested see this video of Derren Brown and his group mentality experiment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4shngySiIU). You just need to realize that you dont know these people so their actions have no real affect on what you do, (incoming bad advice) just “dont care” what they say.
So to summarize, alter egos are an effective way of curing online shyness. They can help and often cure real shyness when meeting new people, but I find are hard to implement in real life situations and when implemented well, they can become relied on which in turn could lead you to losing sight of who you once were.
Thanks for reading,
Related articles (When alter egos are needed – not necessarily to do with being shy, but to do with being accepted by society)
- The Alter-Ego Complex | What Is The Real Point? (vaughanmasawiey.com)
This blog will act as a diary. A diary of what and when I worried. I will keep names anonymous. I won’t mention my own or anyone else’s name directly in this blog. Feel free to comment, ask questions, offer … Continue reading...
This blog will act as a diary. A diary of what and when I worried.
I will keep names anonymous. I won’t mention my own or anyone else’s name directly in this blog. Feel free to comment, ask questions, offer advice or just read. This is a look into my life and into my mind.
I worry a lot and I know its not good, it’s not productive, but, for me, it’s a hard a thing not to do. I will try to post regularly and I assure you everything I post (bar names and places) will be 100% truthful. Think of me how you wish but this is (probably) the only factual information you will find out about me:
- I’m male.
- I’m 18 years old.
- I’m at university.
- I’ve never been in a relationship (I worry a lot about relationships, silly I know but oh well).
- I’m a virgin (Although this isn’t something I’m worried about directly it affects the relationship stuff).
So that’s about it really. That’s all you will know about me personally, but if you would like to read more please read my “About the Author” page.
I hope you find it interesting to read what goes on inside my head.
Aye Worry (I worry)
“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere”
– Erma Bombeck
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