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We offer Intensive Christian Marriage Counseling Retreats for couples and marriage in crisis. Our Retreats are down-in-the-trenches 3-5 day events aimed at completely restoring a marriage that is in crisis. We also offer 2 day retreats for individuals who have not been successful in convincing the other spouse to attend a retreat with them.
Blog Added: April 17, 2018 10:45:15 PM
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Advice for Couples Surviving Addiction

The post Advice for Couples Surviving Addiction appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.

It’s no secret that substance abuse can destroy relationships, leaving families in turmoil and loved ones in pain. The person suffering from addiction often thinks they are only harming themselves, but the effects tend to trickle out all around them. So, what can you do to get your loved one the help they need? While the answers are not always simple, there are some strategies that can help when it comes to dealing with these situations.

Opioid Addiction

Opioid addiction continues to be a nationwide problem. According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, in 2016 alone, there were more than 30,000 deaths in the U.S. related to prescription pain relievers and heroin. It usually begins with a prescription treatment for a surgery or accident that requires pain management. And studies show that addiction can begin in as little as a few days of use.

Signs of Addiction

If your significant other has a problem with substance abuse, there’s a good possibility you already know something is wrong, but to determine if there is an addiction, you will need to watch for certain signs. With any addiction comes some irregular behavior. For example, you might notice extreme mood swings, poor work performance, sudden weight loss, or unusual sleeping patterns. Chances are when you ask them about any of their behaviors, they will make flimsy excuses or express misplaced outrage.

Signs of Opioid Addiction

Though some signs are the same with any addiction, opioid addiction may be a little harder to detect because it is a substance their doctor probably prescribed and you are not looking for signs. But here are some things to watch for:

  • Nausea
  • Drowsiness
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Constricted pupils
  • Extra pill bottles in the garbage
  • Taking more pills than prescribed

Healing as a Couple

According to Psychology Today, compassion is the key ingredient in getting a loved one to agree they need help and healing a relationship after one of you has suffered an addiction. Compassion lets them know that we recognize their pain, really hear them when they talk, care about them as an individual, and encourages them to get better. But that doesn’t mean you should stop caring about and for yourself. Be sure to express the same compassion to yourself as you do to your partner.

When It Is Time to Move On

There comes a time when you have suffered enough abuse, humiliation and turmoil to wreck a village, and it may be time to move on. No one can tell you exactly when that time is, but people often make the choice when they feel there is no other option. For example, they might choose to leave when they feel it is no longer safe for them or their children to be in the home. Or maybe their significant other refuses to get help or recognize that there is a problem. The bottom line is that no one has to live with that decision but you and any children involved, so seek out the help of a licensed therapist if you feel you need counseling to make your choice.

Living with someone with an addiction is one of the most difficult experiences you can face. There will be times when you want to throw in the towel, times when you want to give the relationship one last chance, and even times when you live in denial. It’s important to face the truth as soon as you can and to seek counseling regardless of whether your partner chooses to join you. Addiction does not have to be the end. With the proper treatment and relationship-building tools, life after addiction can be a wonderful new beginning.

The post Advice for Couples Surviving Addiction appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.



Top 20 Bible Verses to Help You Navigate a Marriage Crisis

The post Top 20 Bible Verses to Help You Navigate a Marriage Crisis appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.

The following verses are excerpts from the New Living Translation (NLT).


Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

– 1 Corinthians 13:7


No, the Lord’s delight is in those who fear him, those who put their hope in his unfailing love.

– Psalm 147:11


Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.

– Ecclesiastes 4:9


A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.

– Proverbs 12:4


A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.

– Deuteronomy 24:5


Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

– Ephesians 4:32



Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.

– Proverbs 20:6-7


Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

– 1 Peter 4:8


Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

– Colossians 3:18-19


For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

– Ephesians 5:22-33


But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband.

– 1 Corinthians 7:10


This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

– Joshua 1:9


Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

– Proverbs 31:10-12


Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

“At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”

This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

– Genesis 2:22-24


Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

– 1 Corinthians 7:1-16


“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

– Matthew 19:4-6


Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?”

Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith.

– Hebrews 13:4-7


But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

– Mark 10:6-9


For the word of God will never fail.

– Luke 1:37


For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

– Jeremiah 29:11


The post Top 20 Bible Verses to Help You Navigate a Marriage Crisis appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.



How can we talk to each other without it always ending up in a fight?

The post How can we talk to each other without it always ending up in a fight? appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.

If you sift through our articles, you may notice a common theme throughout: Communication. Communication is the foundation that relationships are built on, and just like a house will collapse without a firm foundation, our relationships will too. Good communication is a valuable skill, and just like any skill it can take lots of practice to achieve. Are you aware of the kind of communication you and your spouse practice?

Think about the last time you felt misunderstood by your spouse. How did it make you feel? Usually, when the people closest to us do not understand us, it can make us feel unloved and unappreciated. In our marriage counseling practice, over 95% of the couples who come to us practice poor communication. As a result, neither spouse feels understood or loved.

If you suspect that your marriage is suffering from poor communication, you will recognize some of the bad communication habits listed below:

Interrupting

Inappropriate or offensive nonverbal communication (93% of all communication is non-verbal) – what does this mean in your communication?

Not listening

Yelling

Talking over the other person and not allowing them the opportunity to respond

The list goes on and on. The interesting part about poor communication in marriage is that for many of us there was a time when we communicated well. You may be able to think back to your days spent as newlyweds and realize that you don’t recall thinking, “Man, our communication sure is off,” or, “He just doesn’t get me.” One might argue that we were better communicators when we wanted to be better communicators.

Another thing to consider is that communication skills are not only necessary in our marriages, but we use them everyday at our jobs, our church, with friends, and with our children. So, maybe it isn’t our poor communication that is making us feel distanced from each other; perhaps the distance we feel has lead us to care more about what we’re trying to communicate than what our partner is trying to say to us.

What does this mean for your marriage? The situation is different for everyone. Some couples may need to relearn how to communicate with one another, and others will be learning to communicate for the first time. The good habits listed below are great ways for you to practice better communication, but in the best possible scenario, you will practice these methods because you are genuinely interested both in communicating better, and in your partner.

A few of these are:

Ask questions if you don’t understand. If you wrongly assume what your partner means, you’ll be headed in the wrong direction. Asking questions allows you to express interest while also clarifying to avoid misunderstanding.

Read your spouse’s body language. Take a mental note of signals about how your partner is feeling. Are they tense? Nervous? If so, what steps can you take to help them relax?

Be an active listener. This may mean nodding, asking questions that shows you have high interest in your spouse. Ask your partner to elaborate on certain things, or it may mean contributing to the conversation. Remember, that’s what we’re trying to do here: have a conversation. It’s important to give your spouse the opportunity to talk, but that doesn’t mean you can’t contribute, as long as you’re predominately listening.

Be interested in what your spouse is saying. The idea is to actually be interested in what they are saying, though sometimes you may have to “fake it ‘till you make it.” At times when you’re struggling to do so, keep the feelings of your spouse forefront in your mind.

Try not to interrupt, unless it’s out of excitement and enthusiasm for what your partner is saying. Interrupting indicates that you were not listening because you were too busy thinking about what you wanted to say next.

If you and your spouse have gotten in the habit of communicating poorly with each other, it may not seem natural to put good habits into practice again. Using the tips above can help to forge a bridge back to good communication, but you may find that it helps your marriage to make an effort to just talk more. Set aside times to sit down without distractions, pick a topic, and discuss it. You may be surprised at what happens.

The post How can we talk to each other without it always ending up in a fight? appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.



How can I get my spouse to care about my feelings?

The post How can I get my spouse to care about my feelings? appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.

Part of human nature is the desire to feel understood. Learning to validate others builds emotional bridges. Establishing these basic connections lays the foundation for emotional safety. It is this safety that allows us to share deeply with our spouse in a calm and neutral way. Rather than hurting our spouse with our words, it is restoring to them.

Validation occurs when we confirm, mostly through words, that other people can have their own emotional experiences. A simple statement like, “It must be difficult and painful to have something like that occur,” can be validating. Validation is not mean agreeing with them, it is reassuring them that it is reasonable and OK for them to feel the way they do. That other’s would probably feel the same the if the same thing had happened or spoken to them.

If you order a product and someone calls to confirm that you received it, you might say, “Yes, I got the package.” You are only confirming that you received the package. You are not confirming that the contents in the package are in good shape. You are not confirming that the contents are what you ordered. You are only confirming that you have the package.

Likewise, validation is confirming that the other person has specific feelings. We are not confirming that their feelings are right, or correct, or even okay. We are also not confirming that we are wrong.

Simply stated, “We are confirming that they have just received an emotional package.” The challenge is to allow them to open the emotional package the way they want to open it.

How can I get my Spouse to care about my feelings?

Statements of Validation:

Try to validate the feelings the person has shared. Since we don’t know for sure what the person is feeling, use words that are gentle and open to possibilities.

“It must be very difficult to be in this situation.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through.”

“It seems like things were going well and then this happened.”

“I’m not sure, but it appears you are saying that this makes you very angry.”

“Do you feel like you were blindsided?”

“It appears to me that you felt very disrespected in this situation.”

“It must be difficult to have so much sadness that this happened.”

“I’m sensing that this brought up real feelings of betrayal.”

“Tell me if I have it correct. What I heard you say was my statement was very hurtful towards you and it is not the first time you have felt this way.”

“Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. You feel like you don’t matter, your feelings don’t matter, and you have built up a lot of resentment. Is that it?” When we attempt to validate, we want to use a lot of hedge words or possibilities so we are exploring with the person what they are experiencing. After a statement of validation is shared, stop and listen to what the person says next and then try to help justify those feelings. Continue this process until the person feels understood.

People feel understood without the Listener ever using the words “I understand” because we are confirming their feelings and emotions. Saying to someone, “I understand,” is typically un-helpful communication and tends to minimize their feelings. How can we possibly understand what someone else is going through even if we have had a similar experience? We really don’t know what it is like for them and we need to learn what they have experienced. Saying, “I understand how you feel” only says to the other person that you haven’t a clue to what they are saying.  Avoid saying “I understand how you feel” at all costs!

Generally, when people feel understood they are more open to receiving help and locating a place of calm within their soul. Once this is achieved, they gain the emotional and spiritual strength they need to deal with the challenge.

Barriers and Fears of Validating:

While we may recognize the importance of validation, it is not easy to do. There are often barriers that impact our willingness or ability to follow through with this healing step. This is a list of some fears or barriers others have noted in their attempts to validate:

• If I validate, I won’t be heard (or my pain won’t be understood).

• Validation won’t fix or solve the problem.

• I don’t know how to validate the right way.

• I forget to validate. My reactions to others’ emotions come on so quickly.

• My habit is to teach rather than validate. If I don’t teach, I’m afraid they won’t learn.

• If I validate, it will only enable their hurtful behaviors.

• If I validate, they will think I’m agreeing with them.

• If I validate, they will get stuck in blaming others (especially me) for their problems.

• If I validate others, their emotions will escalate and get out of control.

• When I feel hopeless it’s challenging to validate because it feels like it won’t help anyway.

• When I’m in a great deal of pain it’s a challenge to validate because my own emotions are escalated.

• If I validate someone who is hurting me, they will continue to hurt me.

It is important to remember the purpose of validating. Validation nurtures emotional safety, honesty and the expression of underlying emotions. Bringing about feelings of being understood, establishes a basis for emotional safety. Simply put, when people feel emotionally safe to share vulnerable feelings and thoughts, they share more. When they share more, we love more, and are more likely to help them in a supportive, non-threatening way that gets at the root of the problem.

Validation is one of the top 4 ways to create closeness:

1. Validation.

2. Active listening, speak in a neutral, non character assassinating way,

3. A sincere apology.

4. Give your Action Plan everything you’ve got!

The post How can I get my spouse to care about my feelings? appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.



How to win back the one you love

The post How to win back the one you love appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.

This article is intended for someone whose spouse is much less committed to the relationship, It’s not meant for all spouses to read.

There is a dynamic common to mankind. It’s even prevalent in the world of nature. Understanding it will be very valuable in regaining your spouse’s interest.

Relationships are like see-saws. For example, if one person expresses all the optimism and confidence, the other person is invited to feel all the pessimism and insecurity. One goes up—the other goes down. Spouses often balance each other in this way in what is called the “Avoider-Pursuer” dynamic. When one person’s position is extreme, it invites their spouse to adopt an equally extreme position in the opposite direction.

How to win back the one you love!

When one person wants the marriage to work, fairly typical patterns emerge. The spouse who wants to preserve the marriage desperately pursues their mate, trying to reverse the momentum of the alienation. Usually there is pleading, begging, crying, threatening, anything to try to win back the departing spouse.

“I know deep down inside you still love me,” she says, in an effort to convince him to keep trying, or “What about all these years together?” “We have a history that shouldn’t be thrown away,” she tells him, hoping he will see the light. “I promise I’ll change, I know it can work,” he tells her, praying she will give him one more chance.

Although these acts of desperation are understandable, unfortunately they increase the chances of divorce. The more desperate the spouse who wants to keep the marriage alive, the less appealing he or she becomes. The result? The reluctant spouse becomes more certain than ever that ending the relationship is the right thing to do.

Pursuers have other things in common. As the marriage deteriorates, they often become obsessed with wanting to know their mate’s whereabouts and activities and who they are with.

If separated, they may call many times a day, sometimes to check on their mate, other times to be reassured. These calls are usually met with anger or apathy. This is hardly the reassurance the caller wanted. In fact, the distancing mate feels that the pursuer is try to control him or her, which inevitably leads to resistance.

The more one spouse worries about the breakdown of the marriage, the less the other spouse has to worry about it. The result? If you have been working overtime to convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving, that you love each other, or you are worried about the children, you make it easy for him or her not to think or feel about these things because you are doing it all for them! The solution? Stop the chase! In fact, it’s not enough just to stop the chase, you must do a 180-degree about turn.

Things to avoid:

Don’t act down and depressed

Don’t be clingy

No interrogations

No questions

No persuading

No convincing

Be unavailable sometimes

If you are separated:

Stop calling.

Be unavailable sometimes when he/she stops over.

Act happy (like your old self) when they visit

Be more involved with others, children, parents, friends, etc while they are there.

Make appropriate social plans for yourself.

Be interested but not eager. Stick with it for awhile before you decide if it is working. Give this new way of interacting with your dis-interested spouse before you give up. This takes patience and perseverance. Resist the impulse to ask for more commitment, or of seeming too eager. Allow enough time for the positive interactions to take hold. Don’t get complacent too soon, or you spouse will become distant again.

If you are still living together:

Stop calling him or her at work or other places.

Stop initiating sex or trying to be seductive.

Make plans for yourself.

Keep busy around the house when your spouse is present.

Act happy. (Actually become a happier person; this is a decision!)

Stop questioning your spouse about their whereabouts, or who they are with.

When you focus less on your spouse and more on improving your own life and making yourself happy, you can start making your life enjoyable again. When your own life is in order, you feel better about yourself, which helps you be more clear-headed about your marriage. The more enjoyable you are to be around — the better your chances you have to win back the one you love.

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This article is intended for someone whose spouse is not interested in the relationship anymore. It is not meant for all marriages.

There is a dynamic common to mankind. It’s even prevalent in the world of nature. Understanding it will be very valuable in regaining your spouse’s interest.

Relationships are like see-saws. For example, if one person expresses all the optimism and confidence, the other person is invited to feel all the pessimism and insecurity. One goes up—the other goes down. Spouses often balance each other in this way in what is called the “Avoider-Pursuer” dynamic. When one person’s position is extreme, it invites their spouse to adopt an equally extreme position in the opposite direction.

When one person wants the marriage to work, fairly typical patterns emerge. The spouse who wants to preserve the marriage desperately pursues their mate, trying to reverse the momentum of the alienation. Usually there is pleading, begging, crying, threatening, anything to try to win back the departing spouse.

“I know deep down inside you still love me,” she says, in an effort to convince him to keep trying, or “What about all these years together? We have a history that shouldn’t be thrown away,” she tells him, hoping he will see the light. “I promise I’ll change, I know it can work,” he tells her, praying she will give him one more chance.

Although these acts of desperation are understandable, unfortunately they increase the chances of divorce. The more desperate the spouse who wants to keep the marriage alive, the less appealing he or she becomes. The result? The reluctant spouse becomes more certain than ever that ending the relationship is the right thing to do.

Pursuers have other things in common. As the marriage deteriorates, they often become obsessed with wanting to know their mate’s whereabouts and activities and who they are with.

If separated, they may call many times a day, sometimes to check on their mate, other times to be reassured. These calls are usually met with anger or apathy. This is hardly the reassurance the caller wanted. In fact, the distancing mate feels that the pursuer is try to control him or her, which inevitably leads to resistance.

The more one spouse worries about the breakdown of the marriage, the less the other spouse has to worry about it. The result? If you have been working overtime to convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving, that you love each other, or you are worried about the children, you make it easy for him or her not to think or feel these things because you are doing it all for them! The solution? Stop the chase! In fact, it’s not enough just to stop the chase, you must do a 180-degree about turn.

Things to avoid:

Don’t act down and depressed

Don’t be clingy

No interrogations

No questions

No persuading

No convincing

Be unavailable sometimes

If you are separated:

Stop calling.

Be unavailable sometimes when he/she stops over.

Act happy (like your old self) when they visit

Be more involved with others, children, parents, friends, etc while they are there.

Make appropriate social plans for yourself.

Be interested but not eager. Stick with it for awhile before you decide if it is working. Resist the impulse to ask for more commitment, or of seeming too eager. Allow enough time for the positive interactions to take hold. Don’t get complacent too soon, or you spouse will become distant again.

If you are still living together:

Stop calling him or her at work or other places.

Stop initiating sex or trying to be seductive.

Make plans for yourself.

Keep busy around the house when your spouse is present.

Act happy. (Actually become a happier person; this is a decision!)

Stop questioning your spouse about their whereabouts, or who they are with.

When you focus less on your spouse and more on improving your own life and making yourself happy, you can start making your life enjoyable again. When your own life is in order, you feel better about yourself, which helps you be more clearheaded about your marriage. The more enjoyable you are to be around — the better your chances are to win back the one you love.

The post How to win back the one you love appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.



How Can I Tell if my Spouse is Cheating on me?

The post How Can I Tell if my Spouse is Cheating on me? appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.

One of the most earth-shattering struggles a marriage can face is an affair.  We try to safeguard our marriages against cheating, but unfortunately, affairs can occur without warning.  If you can recognize the signs of cheating spouses, you may be able to confront it head on.

He/she:

1. Suddenly stops showing interest in the Lord

If your spouse was a regular church-goer, used to pray or read the Bible and stops, they may feel too ashamed or guilty and want to avoid the things of God.

2. Doesn’t want to answer where they have been or who they have been with

There is rarely a good reason for a spouse to become secretive, cryptic about how they are spending their time.

3. Acts secretive with cell phone and computer

If a previously unprotected device like a cell phone or computer now requires a password, this may be a reason to suspect an issue of cheating spouses.

4. Stays out late or begins taking sudden out of town trips

This goes hand-in-hand with #2.  When your partner starts putting distance between the two of you, especially without good explanation, there is a chance something else may have his/her attention.

5. Becomes withdrawn and moody (private)

This is evidence of your partner trying to create emotional distance between the two of you (and perhaps the family). This could be because his/her emotional needs are being fulfilled elsewhere, or because they feel guilty or uncomfortable facing you.

How can I tell if my spouse is cheating on me?

6. Gets angry easily

A cheating spouse may go out of their way to pick fights, be disrespectful, or criticize.  If you are having trouble understanding why your partner has increased anger, your relationship may be in trouble.

7. Gets defensive easily

When someone inquires with a person who is being unfaithful, they often feel the need to come up with excuses to defend themselves, and this can make them feel cornered.  Sometimes the defensiveness comes without any provocation at all, and that’s a good sign that something else is going on.

8. Doesn’t show as much interest in the kids

When a person is having an affair, they are usually only thinking of one person: themselves. Cheating is a very selfish act, things that used to take priority often end up on the back burner.

9. Shows a change in sexual interest

This could mean that their desires have changed suddenly (for the better or worse) without explanation, or that they have little to no interest in sex with you.

10. Doesn’t explain withdrawal of money

Again, unless you have reason to expect a surprise, this could be a major cause for alarm.  Your partner may be spending the money or, worst case, trying to save up for a larger expenditure that he/she doesn’t want you to know about.

It is important to note that these behaviors could be exhibited for many reasons, and although people engaging in an affair often display the habits in this list, observing these signs does not guarantee that your spouse is being unfaithful.  If your partner exhibits the behaviors here, but you’ve eliminated an affair as the cause, your marriage may still need help.  Consider contacting a trusted marriage counselor to assist you and your spouse navigate through the issues you are facing.

The post How Can I Tell if my Spouse is Cheating on me? appeared first on Marriage Rescue Retreats.



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