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It’s here. That time of year when everything just feels like it falls perfectly into place. The time of year when the air smells like romance. The crisp leaves spiral down to the ground, enveloping the earth in a warm red and orange patina. You know what I love about this time of year more...
It’s here. That time of year when everything just feels like it falls perfectly into place. The time of year when the air smells like romance. The crisp leaves spiral down to the ground, enveloping the earth in a warm red and orange patina.
You know what I love about this time of year more than all of that bullshit romance stuff? Halloween. Fall fashion. New seasons of my favorite shows. Wearing all black every day again becoming acceptable.
I’m not an expert on Halloween, so that’s not what I’m here to post about, although I do want to point out that I once won best costume/100 bones for my take on a “school photo”:
Let’s move along to my fall fashion inspirations. I left you with my spring fashion inspirations, failed to post about any summer inspirations (which is fine, because quite honestly, this summer was a total blur and I was just dehydrated and disgusting for most of it), but I will NOT fail you with fall. I am so excited to share my thoughts on fall fashion with you. Disclaimer: these thoughts/looks/inspirations have absolutely nothing to do with any current trends or trendy people. Let’s begin.
Yes. Conway Fucking Twitty. If this man is not your muse for all things fall fashion, then I really do not understand how we can be friends. Leather? Check. Turtleneck? Check. Turtleneck under cardigan? Check. Old Orchard Beach/Yeezy-inspired sweatshirt? MOTHER FUCKING CHECK.
Look at him. That hair, both styled to perfection and also disheveled. Living his best life, not giving a fuck what anyone thinks. He was a man ahead of his time. His wardrobe is what Demna Gvasalia‘s dreams are made of.
Before we quickly discuss our next inspiration (who is also a man, but whatever), please press play.
Yes. Waylon Fucking Jennings. Collared shirts. Leather vests. Black hats. Denim jackets. OUTLAW COUNTRY! Aside from his music, you know what else I love about Waylon? That he loved Big Bird. Don’t believe me? Check out this clip from the 1985 smash hit “Follow That Bird”:
As someone on YouTube once said, “You may be cool, but you’ll never be Waylon Jennings riding in a truck with Big Bird cool.” I’d also like to point out Waylon’s red plaid flannel shirt and tan hat. Now THAT is what this fall is all about. Also, please note the Countmobile, which is boujee AF and has a NY license plate of “12345678910” AND I’ve learned is capable of transporting ninety-nine bats.
Now what? Movies? Music? Trends? Well, I tried out the ASMR thing. It’s cool, I’m into it. It relaxes me. It’s weird. Well – is it weird? Yea, it’s weird. 100% weird. The fact that I can fall totally asleep/into a deep place of relaxation listening to a woman pretend to give me a haircut is super weird, but I can’t argue with science. HOW DOES IT WORK? I’ll copy/paste some internet science for you, no problem (credit – Wikipedia):
Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. It has been compared with auditory-tactile synesthesia and may overlap with frisson.
ASMR signifies the subjective experience of “low-grade euphoria” characterized by “a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin”. It is most commonly triggered by specific auditory or visual stimuli, and less commonly by intentional attention control.
Now, it should be noted that not everyone enjoys this type of thing. It should also be noted that for some it’s a turn-on. I would like the record to show that ASMR is in fact NOT a turn on for me. It just makes me feel tingly and as if I’m melting into my mattress. Maybe it will work for you too. Try this:
Comment if this worked for you. Comment if this didn’t work for you. Don’t comment either way, I guess whatever.
Ok. I’m on a plane headed to Bentonville, AR. I wish you all a Happy Halloween! I’ll work on posting more often. I’d also love to know any icons you’re channeling this fall and any weird trends you’ve tried that you don’t want to admit you liked (but you liked them).
How are we feeling about spring fashion? I’m feeling R-E-A-D-Y. What’s that spell? Ready. It spells ready (rolls eyes). My outfit choices are typically heavily influenced by the following: Chloe Sevigny, Alexa Chung, and Patrick Bateman. Yes, that’s correct – Patrick Bateman. Think trench coat, Gucci horsebit loafers, striped oxfords, and Ray Bans. While Patrick...
How are we feeling about spring fashion? I’m feeling R-E-A-D-Y. What’s that spell? Ready. It spells ready (rolls eyes).
My outfit choices are typically heavily influenced by the following: Chloe Sevigny, Alexa Chung, and Patrick Bateman. Yes, that’s correct – Patrick Bateman. Think trench coat, Gucci horsebit loafers, striped oxfords, and Ray Bans.
While Patrick will remain a key role this spring, let us focus on Chloe and what I categorize as Chloe-inspired (this is where I consider much of Gaga’s relaxed, non-performance style choices to live and why we both own the same Iron Maiden top from H&M). Why so much focus on Chloe? Well, stop reading this and educate yourself on this (it’s from 1994, where have you been?) and then come back all self-smarted and learned. We’ll pepper in some Alexa and any others that come to mind along the way.
These are two of my personal go-tos: striped tee and high waisted jeans; and black shirt, leather jacket, high waisted jeans (distressing optional, but preferable). Now, I didn’t see these photos and try to recreate these looks, it’s just where my personal style has brought me and I was later validated upon seeing these photos of Chloe looking amaze.
What’s fabulous about outfits like this and what much of my older-twenties wardrobe has become is that pieces such as these can all work together. I preach buying designer denim (however, please avoid paying designer prices – keep as much of your money as you can), buying quality/designer shoes (but take care of them – clean them, polish them, etc.), and then buying inexpensive tops. Whether your white basic tee is from Forever 21 or from Madewell, no one is going to know (so long as you’ve kept it bright white). If they do know, they either need a hobby or they’re just an insecure, judgmental asshole and guess what? That’s not your problem. Thank you, drive thru.
You also need a variety of sneakers. Sneakers are a must – say goodbye to the days of Carrie Bradshaw and her bunion-inducing Manolo Blahniks and say hello to the days of healthy, comfortable feet with a properly aligned pelvis. That being said, I did see that Mr. Blahnik has a wonderful slide sandal called the “Rapalla” inspired by some Italian chick who loved Portofino. Don’t we all, Italian chick (her name was Franca Sozzani and she was the editor-in-chief of Vogue Italia – I’m an asshole, mea culpa).
Which sneakers, you might ask? Well, I personally over-did Adidas in middle school (think shirts, wind pants, visors, etc.), so I now gravitate toward Nike. I also have a couple pairs of Vans, as do all women now between the ages of 18-34 (which I’m bitter about, but it’s fine).
Now, I don’t YET have the blue Cortez shown above, but I will. This is the sneaker worn by one of my favorite characters of all time, George Costanza. The other two, I do have and love dearly, as much as one can love sneakers. DON’T FUCKING COPY ME! If you like them, get a different color. If I see you wearing the blue Cortez before I have them, there will be major shade thrown. I also fell in love with the white Cortez when Leonardo DiCaprio wore them during the ludes scene of Wolf of Wall Street. As for my Vans, it’s pretty simple: one pair is white, the other pair is black. The end.
The following is a highlight reel I’ll leave you with of all of the things I’m looking to embody this spring. Please note – my style fluctuates constantly according to my mood, with some occasional lengths of time where one style remains constant.
This is not a food blog – I repeat – this is not a food blog. Listen, it’s not that I don’t absolutely love brightly colored, positive, optimistic, cutesy food blogs chock full of Millennial pink – I am a hundred and ten percent on board with those. It’s just that, well, it’s not who...
This is not a food blog – I repeat – this is not a food blog. Listen, it’s not that I don’t absolutely love brightly colored, positive, optimistic, cutesy food blogs chock full of Millennial pink – I am a hundred and ten percent on board with those. It’s just that, well, it’s not who I am. I’m dark and weird. Cynical and sarcastic. The eleven-year-old kid who wanted to talk about watching Terminator 2 for the hundredth time, while normal girls her age wanted to talk about Lizzie McGuire.
I’m not entirely sure what this blog is going to be. I do know it’s going to be a lot of music, movies, fashion, and art – a lifestyle blog, I suppose. A stream of consciousness of all things trending. Some fantastic throwbacks already ruminating around in my noggin. It is NOT going to be a place of political discussion, so if that’s what you’re here for, please kindly see yourself out. I’m loud, obnoxious, and potentially offensive. The only superlative I received in high school was “Most Talkative”. However, I will say I was robbed of “Best Hair” – ok, maybe not “robbed” per se, just more people voted for a girl with curly hair because we grew up in Midcoast Maine (no one has curly hair there? Idk. #grudge).
I also curse a lot, so, if that offends you, again – please kindly see yourself out while simultaneously reading the following article and questioning your entire judgmental existence: People Who Swear May Be Happier, Healthier And More Honest.
Let’s talk about music. I was just saying to my friend the other day that I feel like there’s been a void in my life musically since this time last year (well, 4/16 to be exact) when I was listening to Kendrick Lamar DAMN. on loop (if you’re wondering where the name of this blog came from, go listen to DNA). Well, my prayers must have reached a Rap God somewhere (Eminem?), because my girl Cardi B just dropped Invasion of Privacy and it is FIRE.
Tracks on repeat (apart from Bodak Yellow and Bartier Cardi): Best Life (feat. Chance The Rapper), I Like It, Ring (feat. Kehlani), and She Bad.
Don’t forget, that although this is her debut album, Cardi already became the first female rapper to top the Billboard Hot 100 chart (10/7/2018) without the assistance of other artists since Lauryn Hill in 1998. If you want to read some background about the inspiration and nods to other artists on the album, check out this Rolling Stone article. I could regurgitate it for you in order to sound pretentious, but I’ll save my words for the next post.
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