Parenting- Successful Fathers

To all the Fathers out there, do you have the guts to take the challenge? Let?s see if you have all of them checked otherwise you have to take the subject again?Dad 101 (5 units).

1. Do I have a sense of supportive partnership with my wife?
2. Do I frequently talk with my wife about our children?s character, strengths and weaknesses?
3. Do I think long-term about our children?s future as grown-up men and women?
4. Do I frequently discuss things with my children?
5. Do I listen to my children as well?
6. Do I keep television watching to a minimum?
7. Am I confident of my authority?
8. Do I see discipline not as a punishment or mere behavior-control but rather a means of building my children self-control?
9. Do I have a number of close friends?
10. Do I have a profound and active religious faith?
11. Do I reach my children that real happiness doesn?t come from wealth and power?
12. Do I put my family?s welfare ahead of my job?


Food for thought:
l. How often do I think seriously about what strength of character my children see in me-in the way I habitually live faith, hope, charity, sound judgment, sense of responsibility, personal toughness and self-discipline?
2. Where, in their daily lives, do the kids see attractive examples of the opposites of these: religious indifference and materialism, despair and self-doubt, selfishness, sloppy thinking, immaturity and irresponsibility, softness, self-indulgence?
3. How could, in the future, above weaknesses affect the stability and happiness of their marriage? Are they headed for trouble?
4. How much do the children know about my work? Do they understand how I have to exercise strength of character in earning a living?
5. Whom do the children respect and admire and why?
6. In what circumstances do the children see me show respect for others- in religious practice, public courtesy and good manners?
7. Do the children show enough respect and appreciation for their mother?
8. Are the kids aware that their mother is the #1 person in my life?
9. Is there a sense of ?family honor? and ?family name? among our children?
10. How many hours of television do the children watch each week? What sort of television personalities do they admire?
11. What could the children be learning if their TV time went into other activities like reading, music lessons, visiting the elderly, planning and executing projects?
12. If the TV stops functioning as baby-sitter at home, how can I help my wife with the increased responsibility of keeping the kid?s mind constructively occupied?
13. Do the children?s sport activities induce active bodies but passive minds?
14. To whom do the kids look for a model for adult-level strength and competence- to me or to celebrities of the entertainment industry?
15. Am I able to get down to the kids? level? But am I careful not to stay there? Do I lift them up to my level?
16. Do the kids see me proud and honored by the strengths of character that I see growing inside them?

(The checklist and the above questions were excerpt from the book ?Successful Fathers? by James B. Stenson)

If you are an absentee or a defaulting Father, you are the best producer and director of a modern day family tragedy. According to research, an emotionally or physically absent father contributes to the child?s low self-esteem; low motivation for achievement and inability to defer immediate gratification for later rewards; and susceptibility to group influence and to juvenile delinquency. It also noteworthy that father figure in the household has a great influence in child?s formation of self- identity.It was also reiterated in one of Jonh Hopkins University researches that young, white teenage girls living in fatherless families were 60% prone to premarital intercourse than those living in two-parents home.

Multiple Intelligence- Personal Analysis and Application

Linguistic:
Enjoys reading, likes English and history subjects, easy to write and express ideas, likes to tell stories, keeps a diary and participates in debates and elocution contests like extemporaneous speeches, oratorical and declamation and to include spelling bee contests

Yannah enjoys reading short stories, magazines and inspirational books, she can express her thoughts quite well too; she enjoys sharing her day to day endeavors and she keeps a planner (I was thinking it?s the new generation?s diary, I don?t know but it looks like a diary to me but she calls it a planner). I remember she was about two years old then when she started to manifest her passion for reading. I noticed also that she writes her compositions very well with depth and she can play with her words with ease.

Alexis enjoys reading too, he reads children magazines, short stories and of course those stories for their book report. He can write short stories quite well too so as poems. He got an award in a contest in his Filipino subject when he was in grade 6. They were asked to make original composition about a legend/folklore. His composition won third place. He hold awards in English too, he?s a consistent awardee for being the ?Best in Language and Reading? during his grade school days. He was the champion in Spelling Bee when he was in Grade 6.
Alexis (Gr. 6)
Logical-Math:
Can compute numbers in head, enjoys solving puzzles that requires reasoning, likes step by step directions, likes playing chess or other strategy games, likes to put things in order, enjoys science experiments

My children excel in this subject matter while this is my Achilles? heel. Yannah performs very well in this subject while she was in Grade School; she was part of every contest in school with regard to numbers. She now belongs to the selected few who composed the so called ?Program of Excellence in Mathematics? at Miriam College High School.

Alexis has a very good grasp of numbers too. I reckon, he showed his inclinations in math when he can multiply 3 digit numbers in his mind when he was 5 years old (without the aid of paper and pen). I was surprised when he got 100% grade in his report card in his math subject when he was in grade 5. He was the Best in Math all throughout his grade school days. He plays chess well too that earned him a silver medal; and a bronze medalist in Games of the Generals (both involve strategy formulation). I asked them if they like their Science lessons and they both replied in the positive, Yannah is enjoying the high school experiments.
Alexis (Gr. 5)
? I started introducing them to numbers at age 1, we count everything (like their toys, sometimes the birds that flew over our window pane, eating utensils and many more) at home and I have a penchant for posting charts about numbers on their rooms to include table of multiplication. Every wall in their rooms had a poster of letters, words, numbers and they have a white board where they can write or draw anything they want to.

Spatial:
Likes to draw, tends to take things apart and put back together, likes to play with lego, likes to build three dimensional constructions, sees visual images when eyes closed, likes to doodle

Yannah is enjoying what her hands can do with arts and crafts. She expresses her feelings with painting too. She asked me if she can do some in her door?s room so I agreed and it was nice. A week ago she surprised me with her acrylic painting; her interpretation of a beautiful sunset. Well, nice for a beginner without any formal learning in painting.
Sunset
Acrylic Painting by Yannah
I found out Alexis can draw some nice cartoon characters. I was cleaning his room sometime back when I saw an old notebook with lots of drawings; cartoon characters we see on television like Goku and those in the Computer games. I was laughing at one of his drawings, it was like a comics loaded with drawings and conversation. I think he made that when he was in Grade 3. They both played Lego with enthusiasm and up to now, we still have those pieces in few boxes.

Bodily-Kinesthetic:
Likes to run, swim, bike; enjoys sports and outdoor games, likes working with tools, enjoys making things with hand, can mimic other people?s mannerisms, can express emotions through dance

My daughter enjoys the water, she started her swimming lessons when she was 5 years old and she swims well but she?s not into competitive swimming. Oh well, I can?t swim, their mean mom is hydrophobic. She tried tennis too and she enjoyed it. They both like sports. Yannah?s passion for dancing is insurmountable. When she was about four or five years old, she had her own cassette tape packed in her things when attending parties so she can be sure that she can dance to her favorite beat. She dances gracefully; her zeal for jazz punk and street dance is simply amazing. I remember one of her teachers in Grade school told me to indulge into developing her talent in dancing for she dances very well and this medium can bring her to places. She was a member of MCGS Pep Squad and the team captain when she was in Grade 7. She will be having her dance recital a week from now, I?m going to update with some pictures.

Alexis, a typical growing kid indulges very much in sports. He started playing basketball at two years old in his room; broaden his horizon and enrolled at Best Center (scientific basketball lessons) at age 6 and been playing there every summer. He plays table tennis well too, earned gold for that; he?s good with billiard also; his dad gave him a billiard table as an incentive for being the first honor when he was in grade 2.

? My children has a great ardor for sports and they enrolled in formal lessons to fully enhance their potentials, basketball, swimming, tennis and I personally teach them what I have been playing like chess, billiard, table tennis, games of the generals and volleyball. I enjoy playing with Alexis, I noticed his raging enthusiasm to beat me in the hard court and he succeeded. He is the kind of person who always gives his best in everything he does. Yannah can play basketball also but she?s exceptionally a dancer than a basketball player.

Musical:
Listens to music even when working, sings a lot, remembers melodies of songs, enjoys playing with instruments and knows when tune is off key, like watching musicals

?Guitar players are hot!? ? yes, my daughter is a hot guitar player. She?s a music lover, like what she had written in one of her compositions, ?My guitar and I speak the language of my real self, true, warm and affectionate.? She carry good tune too. I love to watch her perform with her band in some of their gigs. She was 12 years old when she finds playing instruments a worthwhile hobby.

Alexis develops his fervor in playing instruments when he was 11 years old; he can play the drums and now he?s into guitar. He can sing too and I am looking forward to enjoy the front seat when he and his band perform sometime soon.

? It is important for them to feel that we, parents support them in their worthwhile activities. When Yannah told me that she wanted to learn how to play guitar, we immediately enrolled her to guitar lessons so as with alexis, he had his drums lessons last year and his guitar lessons last summer.
Yannah in one of her band?s gigs

Interpersonal:
Likes to play other kids, prefers being with friends than being alone, gives advice to friends, is into extracurricular activities and clubs and gets involved in social issues and causes

My daughter is now part of a big organization called ?Youth for Christ?, it is actually a club she joined in school and she?s very active in it. And she has many friends who became mine also; some slept over here in the house and became very close to me. I remember I went with them in a movie and strolled in the mall; I find myself like a bodyguard watching their every move, but it was fun and we enjoyed each others company.

As for Alexis, he has some friends too; we went out together as a family. The friendship became a family matter. Now that he?s in high school (first year high school at AdMU), I am positive that his friends will eventually be my friends also just like that of Yannah?s. He involved himself in scouting when he was in Grade School. He enjoyed the camping and its accompanying activities, he went out with his friends, hanging around computer hubs somewhere near their school on Fridays and Saturdays. He enjoys swimming and other sports activities with his friends during summer and weekends.

Intrapersonal:
Needs quiet place to work, is independent, must believe on something to work on, has collection of things that have special significance in personal life, meditation and reflection are rewarding, interested in knowing about ancient and modern philosophers

Well, as to the need for a quiet place to work, I noticed that my children do their assignments and their things with the television on and sounds of band songs playing; I myself couldn?t imagine how they can cope with that but it works with them. The multi tasking thing is simply stunning. My daughter is an example of an independent child at an early age; she do her assignments by herself; cleans her room, indulge in some crafts alone like cross stitching without asking mom for some help. Now she goes everywhere without the driver, no she doesn?t drive, she takes the ride by herself and she?s enjoying the feeling of doing things by herself. She does her things like an adult. And she?s very responsible, she makes sure that she?s worthy of my trust. Yeah, she collects everything with sentimental value, from a chocolate wrapper to a piece of letter or note and keeps them in her planner.

Alexis don?t keep a planner or collects things like that of Yannah. He only collects toys and play cards. Like his sister, he do his things by himself also, never did he ask me to make his assignments except for some minor details of projects which involves crocheting and sewing. I find this boy always busy with something; he?s good at making himself busy with anything he finds interesting.

Naturalist:
Enjoys nature, likes to collect rocks, shells, etc.; likes hiking, camping; keeps records of observation about nature, is fascinated about animals, enjoys botany, zoology, biology

We all love the beach, camping and going outdoors. We don?t keep records by writing what we see and how we appreciate nature, but we remember nice things about them and of course we take pictures. I remember sometime back, Yannah was 10 years old, we went to a beach and she collected some nice shells and rocks. To her dismay, she wasn?t allowed to bring them home because the airport customs officer confiscated them. Her dad talked to authorities to let her daughter bring a few and they allowed her. She was very happy and up to now, all what she had taken were still displayed in our aquarium. Yannah is an animal lover, she likes dogs, she was fascinated with bears like what we?ve seen in Hong Kong Conservation Park, and she was very amazed. Yannah is at ease with her Biology subject, she finds it enjoyable. Alexis likes dogs too, but not as pretty much like Yannah. I don?t see Alexis interested in rocks and shells and other collectibles of the same kind. This is for now, nobody knows, there is still much time to develop their fondness for nature.

Multiple Intelligence

Linguistic- also called Word Smart. This refers to the ability to speak, entertain, persuade, and instruct thru the use of words. These are people who know how to use language to their advantage. They enjoy word games; have the facility for rhyme, assonance and alliteration to create poetry, essays or novels. They love to write and so they love to read. This is the most universal of all intelligences. Examples of people with this intelligence are journalists, poets, lawyers, story tellers, teachers, and speakers.

Logical-Mathematical Intelligence- also called Number Reasoning Smart. This refers to the ability to work with numbers, to think with reason, to see cause and effect. This intelligence relates to logical, mathematical and scientific abilities. People with this intelligence are scientists, mathematicians, computer people, physicians, and astronomers.



Spatial Intelligence- also called Picture Smart. This intelligence refers to ability to visualize and translate details by drawing or sketching. This requires looking at the world and being able to remember, process images in the mind, and create a representation in actuality. A blank sheet of paper will turn into a picture of vibrant garden, a tranquil landscape or exquisite sunrise. Pieces of materials will be transformed into a picturesque mosque or a wonderful edifice. People with this intelligence are painters, artists, designers, cartoonist, architects, photographers, surgeons, pilots, engineers and sculptors.


Musical Intelligence- also called Music Smart. This refers to the ability to hear musical tones in the mind, translate them accordingly and produce sounds, rhythms and melodies. People with this intelligence are singers, composers, instrumentalists and composers.




Bodily Kinesthetic- also called Body Smart. This intelligence refers to the ability to control ones body movements or the ability to handle objects skillfully. People with this intelligence are acrobats, swimmers, athletes, mechanics, surgeons, dancers, jugglers, actors.




Interpersonal Intelligence- also called People Smart. This refers to the capacity to understand and work with people. This also deals to the ability to relate with other people?s moods, feelings, motivation and desires. People with this intelligence are negotiators, politicians, teachers, religious leaders, nurses, care givers, and those who provide service to others.


Intrapersonal Intelligence- also called Self Smart. This refers to intelligence of inner self. This highlights the ability to distinguish feelings like pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow, helplessness and angst. People with this intelligence are counselors, theologians, therapists, sages, psychologists, philosophers.



Naturalistic Intelligence- this refers to the ability to understand, relate, categorize, classify and cultivate things in nature. People with this intelligence are farmers, ranchers, gardeners, animal handlers.





The most common intelligences are Linguistic Intelligence and Logical ? Mathematical Intelligence. However, it is important to note that one cannot simply focus on one or two intelligences only because a person is a unique combination of various intelligences. It is worth noting that the various intelligences emerge at different periods of growth. It is also rare that an individual develops mastery of six or more intelligences at the same time.
There must be balance in developing the various intelligences to enable the person to work, to live with others, and to face challenges that come his way. The ultimate test is how one makes use of these intelligences to benefit himself and his environment.

Let us distinguish them from one another and try to analyze where you and your kids are most inclined.

Linguistic:

Enjoys reading, likes English and history subjects, easy to write and express ideas, likes to tell stories, keeps a diary and participates in debates and elocution contests like extemporaneous speeches, oratorical and declamation and to include spelling bee contests

Logical-Math:

Can compute numbers in head, enjoys solving puzzles that requires reasoning, likes step by step directions, likes playing chess or other strategy games, likes to put things in order, enjoys science experiments

Spatial:

Likes to draw, tends to take things apart and put back together, likes to play with lego, likes to build three dimensional constructions, sees visual images when eyes closed, likes to doodle

Bodily-Kinesthetic:

Likes to run, swim, bike; enjoys sports and outdoor games, likes working with tools, enjoys making things with hand, can mimic other people?s mannerisms, can express emotions through dance

Musical:

Listens to music even when working, sings a lot, remembers melodies of songs, enjoys playing with instruments and knows when tune is off key, like watching musicals


Interpersonal:

Likes to play other kids, prefers being with friends than being alone, gives advice to friends, is into extracurricular activities and clubs and gets involved in social issues and causes

Intrapersonal:

Needs quiet place to work, is independent, must believe on something to work on, has collection of things that have special significance in personal life, meditation and reflection are rewarding, interested in knowing about ancient and modern philosophers

Naturalist:

Enjoys nature, likes to collect rocks, shells, etc.; likes hiking, camping; keeps records of observation about nature, is fascinated about animals, enjoys botany, zoology, biology


? This is a product of my research about intelligence because I was curious about my two kids? stages of development. I would like to know the explanations on why they are alike in some things despite their gender difference and age gap. I would like also to ascertain points where I could help them develop their potentials. It is exciting to know who among them is excelling in what field and why. My daughter Yannah is 15 years old and my son Alexis will be 13 years old several days from now. I will expound on my personal analysis of their intelligences and in what stage of their growth they have developed such in my forthcoming blog. I hope this article will help us, parents, in such a way that we could formulate support system to develop fully our kids? intellectual abilities.

Table Manners and Etiquette

? Sit up straight.










? As soon as you sit, put your table napkin on your lap.
? Hold your utensils properly- spoons and forks are held horizontally by three fingers: middle finger by the first knuckle, the index finger, and the thumb which rests by the fork or spoon?s handle. The knife held by the thumb and middle finger with the index finger gently pointed, pressing outwards over the top of the blade to guide as you cut.


? If there are a lot of forks, spoons and knives in front of you, the rule is out moving in, meaning, the outer ones are used for the first dish and so on.
? Your glass is to the right and your bread to the left.




? Do not over stuff your plate with food.
? Do not over reach for things. Politely ask for it to be passed to you.
? Do not take the first bite. Your cue is when the host/hostess have started.
? Taste your food before adding salt and pepper.
? Chew with your mouth closed, no funny noises of slurping or burping.
? Eat bread by breaking them into small pieces.
? Wipe your mouth before you take a sip to avoid smudging your glass.
? If you can?t handle a drink, don?t.
? Never rest your elbows on the table. In between bites, rest your hands on your lap.
? If you have a tough piece of meat stuck in your mouth, please do not spit it out on your napkin. Food stuck between your teeth should be taken off with the tongue. Don?t do the teeth vacuum. If you must, stand up and excuse yourself to expel the meat privately.
? If you have piece of bone in your mouth, remove it using the same utensil it went in with, putting the bone on the edge of your plate.
? Never leave the table before the meal is done. If you must, excuse yourself.

An open letter to my daughter (dipped in chocolate)

Tips: How to preserve cut flowers

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