Software Engineer Husband Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks? Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree. Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary. Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping. Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you. Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless. Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning? Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist? Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life? Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer? Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad?s house. Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever. Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you. Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer. Earn up to $600 per day within 30 days Earn By sharing Sexy I got 4 times payment from this site For payment proof


First caller:
Girl: Hello Sir, this is Pooja calling from Country Club. Me: I Pooja! Girl: Sir, we are offering life time Country Club membership for Rs.1.5 lakh only! Me: Wow, what an offer! Only 1.5 lakh! How come so cheap? Girl: Sir, I am not joking (with a chuckle). Me: Neither me. You know, one of my friends already has Club Mahindra membership at Rs.1.5 lakh per year. Do you have any concession on group booking? I think we have around 8 people in my team. Girl: Sir, along with this, you will get 2 air tickets to Goa absolutely free! Me: Free? I mean after becoming a member, isn't it? Girl: We are also offering 8/6 site in Tumkur. Me: What should I do with that site? Girl: You know Sir, if you have more people in your group, you can have a farm house there ? Me: where we can enjoy our retired life (continuing from where she left) Girl: I am not joking, Sir! Me: Who said that you are joking? Seriously Madam, I am serious. (Can't control my loud laughter this time) Girl: Ok Sir, I think you are not interested. And she hangs up. Second caller:
Girl: Hi Sir, this is Pooja calling from ICICI Bank. Me: Oh, Pooja, nice to hear your voice! Girl: (amused by reaction) Sir, we are offering home loans for 12% interest. Me: Oh, is that so? It's good, but I have an offer from another bank which is giving home loan for only 2% interest! Girl: Only 2% interest? Me: Yeah, it's only 2%, seriously. Girl: Which bank, Sir? I do not think any bank is offering at this interest rate. Me: (lowering my voice) I can't tell you, you know it's a private bank! Girl: No Sir, it's not possible. If that's the case, then, I'm also interested. Me: If you want to know the name of the bank, give your mobile number as I cannot disclose this information over phone. I am bound not to disclose the details. Girl: Okay. She disconnects the call. Third caller:
Girl: Hello Sir, I am Pooja calling from ? Me: (interrupting her) Hang on for a moment ... (taking my time) ...Okay let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati" with... sorry, I forgot your name? Girl: Sorry ?. Me: What's your name, Madam? Am I speaking in an alien language? Girl: Pooja? Me: Audience, we have Pooja on our hot seat. Let's play "Kaun Banega Crorepati" with Pooja. (Of course, mimicking Big B's accent) Here is the first question to Pooja for 1,000 rupees on your computer screen. (Adding standard KBC music) Which bank you are calling from? (a) ICICI (b) HDFC (c) Deutsche (d) Others. Girl: Funny (light laugh)...Okay, I am calling from HDFC. Me: Computer, please lock (b) HDFC ?And yes (b) HDFC is the right answer. You have won 1,000 rupees! Girl: Sir, are you interested in ... (again interruption by me). Me: (my own voice) aren't you enjoying it? I think YES (switching back to Big B voice again) Ready for another question? And here goes the second question for 2,000 rupees on your computer screen. What is the reason behind your call to me? (a) Credit/debit card (b) Home loan/personal loan (c) Mutual fund (d) Others. Girl: Okay, it's enough. Are you interested in free Gold Credit Card offered by us? Me: Oh no, wrong answer. Sorry Poojaji, I already have credit card from ICICI. I have been telling the participants that whenever you have doubt in mind, go for the life lines. And you have not used any of your life lines. What a pity! Girl: She hangs up. (As expected) Earn up to $600 per day within 30 days Earn By sharing Sexy I got 4 times payment from this site For payment proof


A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are female..... Earn up to $600 per day within 30 days Earn By sharing Sexy I got 4 times payment from this site For payment proof


When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
'Pay attention to the things that are e critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit your grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.' :-P Earn up to $600 per day within 30 days Earn By sharing Sexy I got 4 times payment from this site For payment proof


What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand? Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony? Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai. Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai? Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai. Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali. Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya! Only 20 percent boys have brains, rests have girlfriends! Ek samay ki bat hai, Mata Lakshmi ji ka ULLU unse rooth gaya aur bola, 'Apki sab puja karte hain, mujhe koi nahin puchhta' Lakshmi ji boli: Ab se har sal meri puja se 8-10 din pehle tumhari puja hogi. Us din Ullu puje jayenge. Tabhi se Diwali k pehle us din ko KARWA CHAUTH keh kar manaya jata hai! 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of Accidents are due to driving without drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke! A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service! Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru We should learn to love our enemies- Mahathma Gandhi Dasto hun bapu di maniye ya chache ki? Dil ke operation ko BYEPASS kyo kehte hain? Kyon ki agar operation theek ho gaya to... PASS varna Hamesha ke liye BYE! Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo. Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega. U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id... Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year! Bush: Wow! Howc many? Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit? Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise? Earn up to $600 per day within 30 days Earn By sharing Sexy I got 4 times payment from this site For payment proof



 Earn up to $600 per day within 30 days Earn By sharing Sexy I got 4 times payment from this site For payment proof


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